Tag: Whistler British Columbia

Whistler, BC: Is this love?

If Whistler were a man he would look younger than his years, have hidden scars of past relationships and injuries buried deep beneath his North Face jacket, and either be the greatest guy you ever met or a completely self-centered jerk. Before opening yourself to Whistler you should ask a few of your friends if he is right for you because once you fall for him it is going to be tough to ever find someone/someplace who/that measures up to him. He’s got some serious baggage, but he is also so…so, well you know what it is like to fall for a guy like him.

He looks good. I mean from ten feet away he is one of the most striking men you will ever meet, but once you get up close and start hugging him you’ll notice that he could use a shower and a shave. He’s one of those guys with the residual dirt beneath his nails. He’s cool with it. He knows that hygiene isn’t his strength. Sure he could button up a little more and moisturize, but he isn’t that type of dude, he’s got mountains to ski, trails to hike, and beer to drink. He doesn’t have time to be the perfect man. He’s not going to change for you, so ask yourself,  “Are ready to change for him?”

It's tough not falling for a guy who cleans up so nice.

It’s tough not falling for a guy who cleans up so nice.

Whistler is also one of those guys who is also sneaky expensive. He’s always asking for $40 for this and that, and you’re pretty sure you had a $20 bill in your wallet last night but now you can’t find it. You don’t mind heading back to the room to cook rice and beans, but he wants you to eat out at that corner restaurant with the heat lamps and the tables overlooking the main square. You know the one. Sitting there having a few drinks with Whistler is perfect, but then, when it is time to pay, the bill is always larger than expected and he left his wallet back in the condo. He says he’ll pay you back, but he never will and you know it.

He respects his elders, but you're not sure you want to introduce him to your parents.

He respects his elders, but you’re not sure you want to introduce him to your parents.

When you have just about had it with him, you take a bike ride to clear your mind and you remember why you fell in love with this guy in the first place.

He's smooth in the right ways.

He’s smooth in the right ways.

And rough in the right ways.

And rough in the right ways.

Your friends warned you about him and they were right. You’ll never find a guy who can measure up to him. You don’t need all that other stuff. If you have him, and your rice and beans, what else could you need? He’ll take you out to the lakes during the summer and in the winter, oh, the winter is when he really shines. Those manly slopes, those evening cross-country skiing outings when you spent hours in the warming hut alongside the trail. He can be quite a romantic when he wants to be.

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The warming hut where you waited for that guy from the Czech Republic to leave so you could be alone with Whistler.

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The lake where you two swam in July and August.

You should probably find a more reliable man, but you know you won’t. You’ll stick with him. He could change. He might clean up a little and cut back on expenses. It’s possible, but even if he doesn’t change you can overlook his flaws because that’s what love does.

I know we are wrong for each other, but if this is wrong I don't want to be right.

I know we are wrong for each other, but if this is wrong I don’t want to be right.

I can see you are trying to clean up some. That's why I'll always stay with you.

I can see you are trying to clean up some. That’s why I’ll always stay with you.

 

Whistler: A Guide to Eating

If you travel to Whistler, BC, you will need to eat at some point. You could wander out into the woods and eat berries and tree bark, but I suggest that you don’t. Whistler Village has a couple supermarkets, a couple liquor stores, and plenty of restaurants.  The restaurants range from super expensive to mildly expensive and there are a few good places that offer good food for a reasonable price. Each of these restaurants are a tiny bit off the main street but they are worth finding because the food is good, the prices are not going to send you into “I just spent $70 on a terrible breakfast” mode.

1.Crepe-Montagne

Crepe-Montagne is a small spot behind the big supermarket in Whistler Village. If you are planning a full day and want to fuel up before mountain biking or skiing, then drop in here for a crêpe. You will not be sorry.

Bananas, nutella, and caramel. The breakfast of diabetics.

Bananas, Nutella, and caramel. The breakfast of diabetics.

Eggs, ham, cheese. The breakfast of skipping lunch.

Eggs, ham, cheese. The breakfast of skipping lunch.

2. Peaked Pies

Peaked Pies is a tiny shop. It is just across the street from the crêpe place and down (northwest?) about a half a block. What do they serve? Meat pies! If you grew up in the US and were forced to eat Swanson’s Chicken/Turkey/Mystery Meat pies then you are probably wondering why anyone would willingly eat a meat pie. I feel bad for you if your meat pie intake has been limited to Swanson’s and if you want to discover the greatness of a meat pie then you must go to Peaked Pies.

Meat pie+mashed potatoes+smooshy peas+gravy= Happy

Meat pie+mashed potatoes+smooshy peas+gravy= Happy stomach

You can grab a take-away pie if you want, but you can also get the pie peaked with smooshy peas and potatoes. Do it. They also have veggie pies for people who want to be self-righteous about everything.

3. Creekbread

Creekbread is not in Whistler Village, so you will have to ride your bike or drive back toward Vancouver about five kilometers to get there, but it is worth the trip. What do they serve? Pizza, well kind of pizza. This is one of those hippie places that has taken pizza and made it into something different. Everything is free range-nonviolently killed-gently raised-antibiotic free-vegan friendly and yummy. The pizzas are pricey if you compare them to bad tasting/factory produced/garbage on pizza crust, but since I make the big bucks I like to live big. (I think the large pizza was about $25 Canadian, which isn’t too bad.)

Wood fired pizza oven with lumberjack chopping wood continually.

Wood fired pizza oven with lumberjack chopping wood continually. I assume it isn’t usually this empty, but we were there at an odd time of the day: 3 PM. 

Potato pizza. Yes, this is the one item that you must order.

Potato pizza. Yes, this is the one item that you must order. We put bacon on ours because the waitress said we should. She was right. 

Buffalo chicken pizza.

The salads at Creekbread are also awesome.  Order a large with all the veggies (there are various salad options) and one salad can feed three people while you wait for the lumberjack to cook your pizza.

There you go. I wrote a blog post with 95% information. It won’t happen again.

 

Driving in Canada: The Rules of the Road

Driving on the Right Side:

Here is the good news, Canada drives on the right side of the road. There is nothing worse than trying to drive in a country that hasn’t figured out that the right side just works better. Canada might be the only Commonwealth country to drive on the right side and the Queen doesn’t know since she will never drive in Canada. I doubt anyone  is going to tell her.

Why did Canada break with the English Empire when it comes to driving on the right side? I’m pretty sure it is because Canadians wanted to buy American cars and we were not about to put the steering wheel on the wrong side of the car. (Yes, I realize that there are places where American cars have the steering wheel on the wrong side and I believe that is why Detroit is such a mess today.)

This is what a Canadian road looks like.

This is what a Canadian road looks like.

The Metric System:

Next, Canada is one of those countries that blindly followed everybody else in the world down that rabbit hole called the metric system. Here is what irks me about the metric system: everything is shorter and if there is one thing that is universally accepted it is that bigger is better. (A kilometer is shorter than a mile, a centimeter is shorter than an inch, a yard…okay a meter is longer than a yard but I will not be limited by facts in this guide to Canada.)

Why is it important to know that Canada is on the metric system when you are driving? 1. Listed speed limits are in kilometers (which is slower than miles per hour, another reason that kilometers are inferior). 2. Distances on signs are listed in kilometers (which are shorter than miles). So when you see that the speed limit is 80 that does not mean that you get to go 80, it means that you can go 50. If that is too confusing let me give you an easy mathematical guide to figuring out how fast to go: 1 mph = 1.6 kph, so if the posted speed limit is 100 kph, get out your Texas Instruments calculator that you last used in 7th grade and divide 100 by 1.6 and that will give you the correct mph. (I think you can do this while on the road because there is no law prohibiting the use of calculators while driving.)  Or if your eyesight is really good you can use those little numbers on your speedometer. (Those little numbers are actually kph, funny huh? Solving life’s little mysteries is what I am all about.)

What if your eyesight is bad and you don’t have a calculator? Should you just follow the flow of the traffic? No, no, no, no, no. Why not? Because Canadians don’t follow the speed limit. They are either driving 500 kph over the listed speed “limit” or they are diving 20 kph under the speed limit. Does anyone follow the speed limit? Yes, Americans who don’t want to get a ticket.

Speeding:

Do Canadians who drive too fast get tickets? It depends. If you are driving in British Columbia and have BC license plates you can drive as fast as your car will take you, but if you are in British Columbia and have Alberta plates, well then that is a different story.

English: British Columbia license plate França...

BC plate means go fast in BC…do not follow these people if you are from outside the province.

If you are from Quebec, then stay in Quebec because all of Canada hates you. (Quebec is like Texas for Americans. This is not a joke. There are three things that are not laughing matters in Canada: Don Cherry’s jackets, hockey, and Quebec wanting to be its own nation.)

How Far is 45 kilometers?

When an American sees a sign that says a place is 45 miles away we know instinctively that it will take about 40 minutes to get there (45 if you drive the speed limit, which in the United States is 5 mph over whatever the sign says it is). Well how long does it take to drive 45 kilometers? I have no idea and neither does anyone in your car. You could do some math to figure it out, or if you are tired of all the math, which if you are American happened as soon as you drove five miles and the speed limit changed three times, you can choose one of two speeds to drive. If you drive the same speed as the distance on the sign then you will arrive in exactly one hour. For example, if the sign says Whistler is 50 kilometers away you can just drive 50kph and you will arrive in Whistler in one hour. This can be a problem if you are driving a long distance or a short distance, but that isn’t your problem when someone asks how long until we get to Edmonton, just press on the gas pedal take it up to 350kph and say, “We’ll be there in an hour.”

You can also chose to drive 100kph. This method will get you to any location in the time it says on the sign. So if it says Whistler is 45 kilometers away, it will take 45 minutes to get there driving 100kph. Again, there are flaws in this technique, but if you are like me you just want a definitive answer when someone asks, “How much longer?”

There you go, that is everything you need to know about driving in Canada. If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask because, as you can tell, I am practically Canadian.

 

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