A few days back, when Dylan’s throat was inflamed and any movement caused back pain and headaches, I said to him, “You know I’m really proud of how you have been brave through this whole thing.” “I’m just laying here. I haven’t been brave,” was his response. What is bravery? Is bravery getting up to brush … More Axe Handles
Three weeks and one day, that’s how long Dylan’s first round of chemo lasted. Yesterday, around 9 am, Joanna came into room 1266 and said to Dylan, “Well, Bud, your counts are up to 1800. Want to go home today?” “More than anything,” Dylan said. 1800 was a great number, we had been waiting to … More Home
Three weeks, it’s now been three weeks, we thought be would have taken Dylan home by now, but we haven’t. Instead we watch blood counts, brush the dead hair off his pillow more and more often, and wonder why his body hasn’t snapped back into place. Everyone assures us that this is natural, that these … More Learning to Say Yes.
Jon hasn’t contributed to the blog in days because we’ve come through those initial moment-by-moment swings of panic, denial, and reactions to the different daily chemo cocktails and their cruel/miraculous side effects that make for fascinating reading material. Dylan has come out the other end of the first round of the chemo meat grinder, and … More Guest Blogger: Momma
It’s 6 AM and I am sitting in the same squeaky chair in room 1266 that I have blogged from for the past two and a half weeks. I have a routine: Wake up, walk down the hall, make a pot of coffee, get my iPad set up next to the window so I can … More Different Day, Same View
The weather in Seattle for the past two days? Clear skies, close to 60 degrees, the days are starting earlier and ending later, spring is in the air. This is not normal and for two days I have had the chance to get out of the hospital and walk around in the sunshine. I have … More Let’s Talk About Guilt
Today, makes two weeks in Swedish Hospital in Seattle, it seems longer. I know all the nurses by first name, I know when blood draws are, I know that Dylan’s once distended belly hasn’t grown noticeable, and I know he feels better, but I also know the cancer fighting has just begun. Yesterday, before Dylan … More Where We’ve Been
Dylan woke up the next day with unbelievable throat pain. No one was sure if the pain was a side-effect of the chemo, which happens, or if it was some type of infection so they bombarded him with everything. With cancer patients who have entered into a low immunity phase, there isn’t the luxury of … More Ebb and Flow
By Monday, eight days into our journey, I had hoped Dylan’s distended belly would stop growing, but it hadn’t. Each hour it seemed to expand beyond what was humanly possible. Nine months pregnant is one way to describe it, but I remembered a term from my research on the Lost Generation that people used to … More Is this Hope, or Another Dead End?
Nights in hospitals are long. The eternal fluorescent lighting in the hallways, the hourly bathroom breaks, and the switching of IV fluids never gives the ill or the family much time to tuck in a good solid sleep, so it doesn’t take long to get sleep routines jumbled into a mess. It also doesn’t take … More Is this real life?