Day 154

Donnie “I’m Already Running For President Again” Trump was in Iowa yesterday because he wanted to get away from the swamp of Washington DC. His rally (soon to appear in a film by Leni Riefenstahl) was set up so he could get out and see the real America. The America he thinks is too dumb to be in his cabinet. He explained to the crowd that he has a bunch of billionaires in his cabinet because poor people are dumb. (I’m paraphrasing because I don’t speak Trump’s language.) 

He then talked about the Senate’s new healthcare bill that is going to be bigly better, really really beautiful, and replace the failing Obamacare. Everyone cheered as they lost their healthcare and gave huge tax breaks to millionaires. Trump called the House bill “mean” and said the Senate bill will be really, really, really great. The House bill was the one he celebrated with a kegger in the Rose Garden a few weeks back. “Yay, we passed a mean healthcare bill. Let’s funnel some beer.” 

The CBO score for the Senate bill will come out soon and then everyone will run and hide…speaking of running and hiding. Where are the Comey tapes? Where are those tax returns? Where are the three million illegal voters? When is Hillary going to jail? 

Trump has changed the wall with Mexico. Now it is going to be a solar wall. I hear there is a third grader designing it on a piece of notebook paper. Mexico will pay for it because we will be stealing their sunlight…I guess. 

One thing that I think we need to steal is the delicious recipe for souvlaki from the Souvlaki Hut.

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