A Year Of tRUMP

Day 146

Jeffro Bowdeen Sessions pretend-testified to the Senate yesterday. It was like watching the last ten minutes of a 1-0 World Cup game. Whenever a democrat would start to pressure Sessions on a point, he’d fall on the ground and pretend he had a muscle cramp. “I don’t recall. Well…let me see…if I keep saying words that mean nothing…and pausing…you’ll run out of time to question…me.” His answer about whether he was employing executive privilege was like watching an M. C. Escher painting come to life. The one conclusion I reached was that lying is more complicated than telling the truth. 

Jason Miller, CNN Trump surrogate who looks like a turnip with a goatee, said that Senator Kamala Harris was hysterical, which was code for “that woman needs to be quiet and know her place.” That didn’t go over well on CNN and Turnip Head ended up looking like an idiot…again. 

If you lift the curtain you might see 13 men working on Trumpcare. The secrecy is understandable, because whatever they come out with is going to make everyone angry. I mean, everyone who isn’t a billionaire. 

On the legal front, Trump is being sued by 200 Congressmen, the state of Maryland, and Washington DC for violating the emoluments clause. You see, you can’t get money from other governments when you are president. Saudi Arabia has spent $200,000 at the Trump hotel in DC. (I think it was for Trump Skin Care. “Get the the same glow as President Trump,” is the product tagline. It’s bottled orange dye.) 

You know what never needs artificial color? Souvlaki!

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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