Day 103

If you were worried, I would run out of things to write about each day have no fear. Donnie Raccoon Eyes had a bigly, bigly day yesterday. He walked out on an interviewer who asked him about the wiretapping charges against Obama. We learned that Andrew Jackson, slave owner and racist, could have prevented the Civil War…maybe we’d all be driving big trucks and flying confederate flags too…oh, that’s right some people still do that: Poor Precious Snowflakes! Maybe the history classes at Trump’s military academy (which was just like being in the military, except for the getting shot at, having to go to other countries, being in danger…that kind of stuff) weren’t too rigorous. Maybe his friend Frederick Douglass could help him study today. I hear he’s doing great things. The worst news of the day was that Trump is cutting the school lunch requirements, because you know what the country needs, more kids eating bad food. If I ever become president, you know what will be on the menu every day! Souvlaki!

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