A Year Of tRUMP

A Short Week: 65-71 Days

Day 65:

After Voting over 50 times to revoke the ACA, the republican house couldn’t get the votes to push their plan through. Paul Ryan looks like an idiot, Trump looks impotent, and Paul Manafort still looks like a Russian spy. Let’s try a single payer option, you know like the rest of the world. Rep Nunes will probably be sent to detention soon and maybe we will finally start to see some of those smoking Russian guns next week. Enjoy your golf vacation Pres Trump. I’ll be eating souvlaki while you destroy ISIS on the links.

Day 66:

Trump spent four hours at a golf course yesterday “having meetings.” He was dressed in golf shoes, was seen on the golf course driving a golf cart and refused to say who he was meeting with. It’s like he’s a high school student and the press and American people are his parents. 

For the record, I think he should stay on the golf course and turn his White House keys over to an adult. He doesn’t seem to really want this job. Speaking of deception, you know what is deceivingly good? Souvlaki

Day 67:

NYTimes is reporting that Jared Kushner will be questioned by the Senate about his ties to Russia. Sounds like Jared has been setting up meetings with the borscht crew and the Trump administration for a long time. Donny tiny digits tweeted for his minions to watch a Fox News show where the host asked for Paul “Ayn Rand” Ryan to step down. I’d hate to see Paul lose his job, his healthcare, and his bootstraps…at least he’ll still have his guns and Papa Roach. You know what goes best with schadenfreude? Souvlaki.

Day 68:

I heard the smartest thing said about Trump yesterday. The dude on the talking box said that Trump wasn’t good at governing because governing takes ethics and morals. Business decisions are all about money, governing is about people. If you have no morals or ethics, then you have no path. So, think about that as Trump continues to govern like he’s the Israelites lost in the desert, wandering from illusion to illusion (or is that delusion?) looking for an oasis that will provide him with the love that his father obviously didn’t provide. Sad. When I get sad I fill my sad hole with a souvlaki!

Day 69:

Trump’s rolling back environmental protections. It was a great photo op for him: “Get me a coal miner to stand there and look happy. Yay, you get to go back in that black hole and bring out coal that nobody wants.” Next Trump is going to bring back whaling jobs and then we’ll start making swords again…pretty soon we’ll reach the Bronze Age. Rep Nunes was asked to step down from his committee and he said, “Nope.” Yeah, this isn’t going to end well. 

I had this great idea this morning, what if Jared Kushner was having an affair? That would be Shakespearian! Probably not happening but just imagine the drama. You know what else I imagine? Loads of souvlaki!

Day 70:

Well, Ivanka moved her office down the hall from daddy, I wonder how the right would have reacted if Obama would have put Sasha in charge of the EPA? Oh, Ivanka is going to work for free too, just like Paul Manafort, that guy who barely did anything for the Trump team and hardly even worked…uh huh. Devin Nunes is in a little hot water since he started trying to take down the investigation he is leading. Never trust a guy from Tulare, CA, that’s what I say. You know what you can trust? You can trust that a souvlaki is going to taste awesome.

Day 71:

I’m sure Trump had a restless night. (That is if his brain is able to do simple tasks like problem solving and reflection.) Sounds like Flynn is ready to spill the beans to save his own skin. Trump needs to ask himself WWPD (What would Putin Do?). So if Flynn suddenly drinks some radioactive tea, or “falls” out of a window, you’ll know Trump got on the red phone and dialed 1-800-KGB-PUTN. We also found out yesterday that Devin Nunes believes he works for the president. That’s kind of like Elliot Ness working for Al Capone #Who‘sUntouchableNow? The big question right now is, “Will Trump make it to day 100 before the glitter bomb he created explodes in his face?” You know what tastes as good as glitter? Souvlaki!

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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