A Year Of tRUMP

A Short Week: 58-64 Days

Day 58:

OMG! Trump continues to defend his phone tapping tweet. He saw a guy on Fox News say it…Trump said this in front of the German Chancellor. We have elected a total moron. This guy has the most complex spying agency in the world at his tiny fingertips and access to all their records…and he gets his information from Fox News! Throw on top of that he wants to defund after-school programs because there is no rate of success. What are we measuring? Crime? Keeping kids from starving? Giving parents the chance to keep their jobs? He does this while insisting that his own kid should get to stay in NYC so he doesn’t get damaged by a move to WA D.C…and who gets to pay for Barron’s protection? You do. I guess only rich kids matter when we’re making America great again. How do you wash down hypocrisy? Souvlaki

Day 59:

Tomorrow James Comey will be testify about Russian spying and whether Trump Tower was bugged by Obama microwave ovens. That should be fun. It was great to see the Trump budget director explain why cutting meals on wheels is compassionate…for the taxpayers. Remember who hasn’t paid taxes for ten years? Yeah, that guy. Who remembers what goes best with irony? Souvlaki

Day 60:

Fern Sprite and Trump budget director, Mick Mulvaney will get his doublethink/doublespeak award someday soon. We can’t balance a budget for ten years, but Trump said it was easy. Trump want wall. Trump want bombs. Tump want tax cuts for friends. Tump say, “War is Peace.” Then there was the meeting with Merkel. Most cringe worthy moment in presidential history. “Shake hands…shake hands…” Trump stares off into space like his hearing aid has gone out and continues to establish himself as the biggest two-year-old ever elected to office. You know what two-year-olds like to eat? Souvlaki.

Day 61:

Trump is quickly distancing himself from anyone who might be implicated by the FBI investigation into Russia influencing the election. “Paul Manafort? Never heard of him. Was he in Die Hard Four?” We did find out that the investigation continues and that Trey Gowdy has a striking resemblance to Draco Malfoy…on the outside and on the inside. If you missed that Trump spent his afternoon tweeting while Comey was testifying, then you missed some gems. Someone take his phone away, or not, I kinda like the direct line to Trump’s id. Ivanka Trump now has a new office in the West Wing because the solution to any problem is more Trumps. You know what also solves all problems? More souvlaki!

Day 62:

AP is reporting that Paul Manafort (Trump’s campaign manager) has been getting paid by Putin since 2005 to “influence politics, business dealings and news coverage inside the US, Europe and the former Soviet republics to benefit the Putin government.” The AP has documents and records of millions of dollars of payments made to Manafort from the Kremlin. You know who didn’t pay him? Trump. Manafort worked for free…wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Looks like the extreme vetting should have been happening closer to Trump Tower than the borders. Oh, and by the way, Trump did have some time to visit republican legislators to tell them that the budget and healthcare better get passed or he’ll make sure they don’t get reelected. My question is, “If they aren’t reelected, do they lose their healthcare? Would that provide them with a gap in insurance and therefore be charged 30% more?” If so, it might be worth keeping that job. You know where everyone is covered with healthcare? Australia, at the Souvlaki Hut.

Day 63:

The party just keeps going. Yesterday, Congressman Nunes (r) says he has evidence that Trump was spied on…so he shared that information with Trump because that’s how investigations work…then Congressman Schiff (d) reported to the public that there is direct evidence connecting Trump-minions to Russia. All this is going on while the Obamacare replacement bill is getting rewritten to try to salvage it, and before the CBO can give it a new once over. Just to remind everyone, it took 15 months to get Obamacare passed. 15 months is longer than 63 days. So, if Obamacare was shoved down your throats over 450 days get ready to grease up Trumpcare. You know what tastes great with grease? Souvlaki!

Day 64:

After seven years of trying to kill Obamacare, the republicans were all set to vote on their new tax-cut-for-the-rich/take-away-healthcare-from-24million-people, but they couldn’t get the formula just right. It’s almost like there wasn’t a plan the whole time…hard to believe. On the Russian front (where I’ll be sent once Trump starts WWIII to distract everyone from how much golf he plays) Rep Nunes walked back his statements and news agencies are reporting more and more connections to Putin through Russian billionaires. The publishing industry must be licking their lips, think of all the tell-all books that are going to come out of this administration. You know what goes with good reading? Souvlaki!

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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