A Year Of tRUMP

A Short Week: 51-57 Days

Day 51:

Trump fired a bunch US attorney yesterday. This isn’t unusual for new administrations, but the void left will probably take Trump a long time to fill. Tax filing is down about ten percent…I wonder if it has anything to do with our fearless leader saying only stupid people pay taxes. The White House reporting pool had a new addition: The Gateway Pundit. The reporter says he’s there to troll the press corps. You know what trolls like to eat? Billy Goats. What do Billy Goats like? Souvlaki

Day 52:

Trump has 24 hours to provide evidence that Obama snuck in and bugged his phone. Don’t hold your breath but get ready for something crazy and distracting to happen today so we forget that Trump lied when he accused the former President of a crime. The 127-page republican “healthcare” plan includes tax breaks for the rich and required genetic testing. The fake job numbers that Obama provided have magically transformed into real numbers now that Donnie tiny fingers is in charge. You know what else is magical? Souvlaki!

Day 53:

Trump provided zero evidence that he’d been wire tapped…anyone surprised? Breitbart news joined AARP, AMA, and most other organizations who have acronyms that start with A to say the republican healthcare plan sucks. Paul Ryan is defending the plan by saying that Ayn Rand came to him in a dream and said, “Good for you, my little cabbage.” You know what goes great with cabbage? Souvlaki!

Day 54:

It’s time to start holding Trump’s tiny tweeting fingers accountable for what they have tweeted. Kellyann Conway joined the coverup by claiming that microwaves can be turned into television stations, Sean Spicy Spicer said that Trump was tweeting in more general terms about the Obama administration and not specifically about Obama “bad (sick) guy”…Who believes this garbage? Trump still provided no evidence. Has he provided evidence of voter fraud? He had a press conference scheduled to discuss that claim…and then canceled it. If you lied this much at your job would you still be employed? Maybe we should all move to Australia and get a job at the Souvlaki Hut!

Day 55:

Well, Trump’s taxes hit the press…his 2005 taxes. I didn’t see what Rachel Maddow made of the tax release on her show last night, I’ll read about it in the “fake, failing” New York Times. Sources close to the Souvlaki Hut think the taxes were released by Trump to divert attention from the Titanic Trump administration. The five people who believe the Obamacare replacement is a good thing have been defending the plan on Fox News and spending time saying, “This is what people wanted us to do.” Yeah, I thought, “You know who needs a break? Billionaires, those guys have it tough. I think some tax-breaks for them and taking healthcare away from 24 million people is a great idea. How else will the zombie apocalypse happen?” Next to brains zombies second favorite food is Souvlaki.

Day 56:

The Trump budget is here! The Trump budget is here! It’s Christmas if you are a millionaire, want to blow stuff up, or like big walls and cannot lie. If you like Sesame Street, too bad. Time to start pulling yourself up by your own diaper…just like Trump did when he borrowed a small sum ($14 million) to start his business. Ayn Rand would be so proud of how all her little minions have grown up to take away things from those who are less fortunate. What will make American great again? Tax breaks, no healthcare, coal mining jobs without worker’s protections, polluting streams and the air, and souvlaki!

Day 57:

Yesterday we found out that the Trump administration said they are done paying for failing federal programs like meals on wheels and after school programs. They’re going to spend more on tax cuts for the rich because the track record for success is 100%, guaranteed to lead to a recession. Also, if we’re going to stop funding failing programs then it would make sense to end the Trump Presidency today. You know what tastes good with irony? Souvlaki!

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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