A Year Of tRUMP

A Short Week: 44-50 Days

Day 44:

Turns out the Obama administration distributed the Trump Russian connections throughout various government agencies because they worried the Trump administration would cover everything up. When will it all come out? Who knows, but now Trump is saying that Obama bugged the Trump Tower’s phones. You know what would clear Trump’s name for me? His taxes. Show the American people there are no Russian connections and I’ll help Trump clear his name. Until then—hell freezing over– I’ll believe that all the Russian stuff is real. If you want real food to go with real intrigue go with Souvlaki!

Day 45:

Trump’s tweet storm is a tough one to explain. The American History textbook companies are going to have their hands full—if there is an America or history left in four years. James Clapper did say this morning that there was no FISA warrant and no bugging. He also said he knew of no collusion between Trump folks and the Russians. It still feels like there will be more angry rants and more Russian sauce. You know what goes well with Russian sauce? Souvlaki

Day 46:

Wow! What can I say, our current president has accused our former president of wiretapping Trump Tower. FBI Director, Comey, has asked the Justice Department to release a statement saying Trump’s tweets have no basis in fact. There are calls for an investigation from Trump surrogates just like those unfounded charges about voter fraud. Remember those airtight claims? Remember that Trump was going to hold a press conference and release that information? What happened there? You know what did happen? The Dakota pipeline is going forward without US pipe, it’s okay to dump coal sludge into rivers, oversight of Wall Street is getting rolled back, and we have a two-year old running our nation. You know what goes best with broken promises? Souvlaki!

Day 47:

Trump signs a new immigration bans like he’s Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, republicans try to explain how Obama bugged Trump Tower, and the new ACA looks like the old ACA except it’s better for rich people who really do need a break. What goes best with tax breaks for the rich? Souvlaki

Day 48:

President Trump has promised to release his taxes. He has promised to investigate the 3 million illegal votes. He has promised to investigate the mythological bugging of Trump Tower. He has promised to replace Obamacare with something better, cheaper, that will cover more people. (The republican replacement will strip healthcare from the people who need it the most.) He promised Mexico will pay for his $20 billion wall. He promised he would lower taxes and add $1 trillion in infrastructure building. He promised he would investigate Hillary and “lock her up.” What has he done? None of this stuff. It’s like ordering a Souvlaki and getting a tortilla filled with packing peanuts.

Day 49:

Well, there were no explanations of Tump’s crazy tweet storm yesterday. I doubt we will ever get to the bottom of Trump Tower spy-gate, but I’m sure there is a logical reason for what happened. Or not. Betsy Devos is getting her way and I’ll soon be teaching at the Greenville Meat Packing School of Equality and Cold cuts. The ACA replacement press conference yesterday was a thing of beauty. I can’t wait to see SNL this week…sometimes skits just write themselves. You know what goes best with SNL skits? Souvlaki!

Day 50:

More Russian connections are being made, the republican healthcare plan is not cheaper–better–and covering more people, WikiLeaks released how the NSA spies on your phone (stop doing those “which Jedi am I” quizzes), and it seems Trump has lost his tweet privileges again. The good news is that we have reached a milestone: 50 days. Let’s celebrate survival with a Souvlaki!

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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