A Year Of tRUMP

A Short Week: 23-29 Days

Day 23:

Trump’s back to claiming he won the popular vote, calling Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas, and making the best deals with China. Can’t wait until he rolls out his secret plan to destroy ISIS. You know what goes best with fiction? Souvlaki!

Day 24:

North Korea shot off a 🚀rocket, Trump will put them on notice when he gets back from Florida. I don’t know if I feel safer when Trump’s little fingers are away from the big red button of if I should be worried that Steve Bannon is wearing Trump’s bathrobe and wandering the West Wing. Bannon’s favorite midnight snack: souvlaki!

Day 25:

President Trump made it a quarter of the way through his first 100 days without destroying the world. That’s better than I thought he would do so I’m optimistic for the next 1435 days that remain. It wouldn’t hurt to build an underground bunker just in case…I’m going to stock my bunker with souvlaki!

Day 26:

The Trump administration has had its first diplomatic casualty, Mike Flynn. Sounds like he was negotiating with the Russians before Trump was in office…which is illegal. I wonder who would have told him to do that? Doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that happens without being told to do so, but I’ve been wrong before. Connecting the dots: Russians, Trump, Taxes… You know what goes best with conspiracy theories? Souvlaki!

Day 27:

What a wild one that was. Flynn resigns…Pence finds out everyone knew Flynn talked to the Russians…The VICE PRESIDENT found out two weeks after Kellyanne Conway, Steve Bannon and self-aware Skynet robot Stephen Miller…Trump gathered a top secret meeting on a dinning patio at a restaurant…Russia moved illegal ballistic missiles…Russia also moved spy boats from Cuba up to the East Coast, possibly to see if Trump is going to keep holding meetings in non-secured areas. Wow, I’m tired just typing all that, I need a souvlaki!

Day 28:

The old wheels are coming off the Trump bus or is it a boat because the leaks are starting to sink his presidency. The Russian thing doesn’t seem to be going away and Mike Pence is angry. What’s worse than a VP who is angry when there is swirling controversy? Not much…Pence is just a tiny step to becoming the most powerful man in the world. I think Trump’s hands are too tiny for this job. You know what else might be too big for Trump’s hands? Souvlaki!

Day 29:

If you missed the Trump press conference yesterday here’s a summary: Asked an African American reporter to set up a meeting with the Congressional Black Caucus, told a Hasidic Jewish reporter to sit down “I know the rest of your question”, asked for “nice” questions, and spoke in incomplete sentences that would make Faulkner’s head spin. Then Trump’s pick to replace fired National Security Advisor Flynn said, “No thanks.” Rejection like that stings and burying that pain in souvlaki is the only way to go.

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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