President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Von Trumplestilskin found his cell phone this morning. Chief of Staff Machine Gun Kelly had hidden it in the vegetable drawer in the fridge knowing Trump would never look in there. Trump found it when he heard his familiar ring tone “You’re so Vain” playing in the fridge. … More Day 200

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Von Trumplestilskin has tweeted out a classified report about North Korea loading cruise missiles onto boats. The reports come from an anonymous source and according to Nikki Haley contain classified information. Will everyone’s favorite racist garden gnome Jeffro Bowdeen Sessions prosecute the Trumpster fire for leaking? I doubt … More Day 201

Welcome to the potential last day of the Trumplestilskin Administration, the last day of the good ol’ USA, the day when we get the backstory for Cormac Mccarthy’s The Road.  If you missed President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Von Trumplestilskin’s proclamation that North Korea was about to be met with “fire and fury” … More Day 202

We survived! North Korea (aka the only country with a leader more likely to accidentally start WWIII than the USA) kept all their ICBMs in North Korea and Trumplestilskin’s aides were able to show our fearless Orangutan where Guam was located on a map cleverly disguised as a golf course layout. They also showed President … More Day 203

Hold on tight kiddos, yesterday was locked and loaded and full of fire and fury.  Let’s start with a moment of silence for Jeffrey “When Did Nazi References Become Off Limits?” Lord. Mr. Lord has been the longest lasting on-air defender of Trump on CNN. He joins the long line of Trump surrogates who have … More Day 204

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Fire and Fury Lord Dampnut Von Trumplestillskin called the Governor of Guam to tell him that the Governor was going to be extremely famous. Yep, that’s what folks in Guam are hoping for: fame.  Sarah “Edgar Allan Poe Face” Huckabee Sanders cleared up the Orangutan in Chief’s recent statement about … More Day 205

A 32-year-old woman was killed by a white supremacist yesterday. I’m sure the 20-year-old idiot driving the car hoped to kill more people when he plowed into the crowd protesting in Charlottesville, Virginia. He was captured soon after the murder took place.  President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Fire and Fury Von Trumplestillskin came out and … More Day 206

Kenneth Frazier, the CEO of Merck, resigned from Trump’s advisory board because of Trump’s response to yesterday’s white supremacist violence. It took one hour for President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Dumpster-Fire and Fury Von Trumplestillskin to call out Frazier BY NAME and condemn him. ONE HOUR! Why can’t he do the same with the Nazi … More Day 207

Remember how White House Chief of Staff John “Machine Gun” Kelly was going to bring stability to the Oval Office? How’s that going? If you saw Kelly at yesterday’s “Infrastructure” news conference, then you know Kelly is getting ready to run off fresh copies of his resume in the White House office copier. The Trump … More Day 209

Well…President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Dumpster-Fire and Fury Von Trumplestillskin made a clear statement denouncing white supremacists. His reading of the statement did smack of Eddie Haskell– “Good morning, Mrs. Cleaver. Good morning, Mr. Cleaver.”– and his body language was right out of “go and tell Jimmy you’re sorry you called him a liberated.” (I … More Day 208