A Year Of tRUMP

Day 349

The Trumplestillskin Administration is like watching the chase scene in Face Off (John Travolta and Nick Cage surgically change faces). Everyone is watching, but saying, “Shouldn’t this have ended a half hour ago?” 

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Hair Lord Dampnut Dumpster Fire and Furher Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein’s lawyers threatened the publishing house of Fire and Fury by Michael Wolff. The publishing house responded by moving up the publishing date to Monday. Trumplestillskin needs to get some new lawyers, I took Media Law about thirty years ago and I still know that the government can only exercise prior restraint if something classified is being released to the public. Unless we are suddenly deciding that it should be classified that Trumplestillskin wanted a lock on his bedroom door and the Secret Service said, “Ummm, no,” then I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything classified in the book. (Whatcha doing in your bedroom that you don’t want the Secret Service to know about weird old man?) Also, Trumpenstein is a public figure, so he’s never going to win a lawsuit against the publishing house. 

El Presidente Loco did what he does, he took to Twitter last night and gave Bannon a new nickname: Sloppy Steve. (Do not go to the Urban Dictionary and look that up. Well, certainly don’t do it at work. You can see it on Twitter without much effort.) Sloppy Steve and the Donald are a pair who deserve each other. This is kinda like a Romantic Comedy…they didn’t like each other, then they fell in love, then the secret they were keeping from each other tore them apart… now we have to wait for the make-up scene. The make-up sex scene with the Donald in his tighty-whities and Sloppy Steve should be a doozy. It’ll take ten minutes for Steve to get his five shirts off… “I can’t quit you!” 

While you were distracted by the circus in WA DC Trumplestillskin got rid of laws restricting off-shore drilling. So next time you are driving down the CA coast you’ll be able to see drilling platforms waiting to explode and pollute the beaches. His little buddy, Jeffro Bowdeen Sessions, is going to be coming for your pot next. Gee…which states have legal pot? All of the ones who voted against the moron in chief. Which states don’t allow drilling offshore? All the ones who voted for Hillary. Hmmm… probably just a coincidence. 

Well, the one thing that we can hold onto is that the sun will rise and set, and the Souvlaki Hut will be there for our hungry tummies.

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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