Happy New Year! We made it… there were times when I was pretty sure we’d all be dead by now. The good news is that like Gloria Gaynor we all survived, but… President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Hair Lord Dampnut Dumpster Fire and Furher Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein is starting off the year by tweeting at Pakistan. (His first tweet of the year. Did Faux and Friendz say something?) Now, I’m not waving any Pakistani flags around, or cheering for Pakistan in the Cricket World Championships, but let’s just say that our relationship with Pakistan is complicated. Trumplestillskin said that Pakistan hasn’t given us anything. Well, they did give us the mastermind behind 9-11. They didn’t know Osama Bin Laden was hiding in their country… at least that’s what they said. Maybe they didn’t. Trumpenstein didn’t know that Paul “The Godfather” Manafort was a Russian spy when he hired him for free. It’s hard to know everything. Sad. Let’s not get in a war with Pakistan. 

Obama released his favorite books and music from 2017. My Souvlaki Hut posts didn’t make the cut. Maybe because we aren’t Facebook friends… that must be it. In response, here are Trumplestillskin’s favorite things from 2017.

1. Tiny gloves

2. Hawaiian Sunset toned tanning lotion 

3. Big words

4. Uneducated voters

5. Hillary’s emails

6. Faux and Friendz

7. Golf

8. Golf

9. Golf

10. The Souvlaki Hut Gorilla!