President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Dumpster Fire and Furher Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein talked to the “failing” New York Times yesterday. He did this interview off-leash and without any help, so you can be assured that it was looney-toons time. He claimed:
1. The Mueller investigation makes the US look bad. (Then just confess!)
2. He knows more about the tax plan and healthcare than anyone else. (Who knew?)
3. According to his news source, Faux n Friendz, he is as popular as Obama was during his presidency. (This man has access to more information than anyone in the world and he WATCHES FAUX N FRIENDZ! Obama has said he never watched the TV news because by the time it was reported it was already days old.)
4. It is cold outside, therefore global warming doesn’t exist. (Does he even know that it is summer in the southern hemisphere right now? I really don’t think he does. You know, I’m not hungry right now, I guess I don’t have to eat any longer.)
For a guy who hates the news so much, he certainly does do a lot of on the record crazy talk with them.
Okay, I know this is going to be a long bit, but if you haven’t read Roy “The Montgomery Mall Mauler” Moore’s lawsuit against the State of Alabama, you must. It is comedy gold. It is 80 pages, but I will direct you toward the end. Pages 50-53 has poll worker Sally Finney’s affidavit. She says that there were lots of people from North Carolina and Georgia voting at the church where she was working… and these people were white. She also points out that there were only three tables and they needed ten. She says that they were really overworked because so many people were voting… white people. “Wait a minute. I mean, no offense. We live in Montgomery, Alabama. You don’t see this many white people moving to Montgomery, Alabama.” (Word for word… I’m not making it up.)
Then there are screen shots of a Breitbart web page with a t-shirt ad. (If you’re looking for the right way to say, “I’m an idiot” you could buy one of those.) The article is about a PAC called Highway 31 that ran a youtube ad called “Shopping Mall” where it said that your vote is public record. Along with the article are five pages of Breitbart internet comments about lead poisoning and liberals. (I think the implication is to shoot liberals with lead bullets, but there doesn’t seem to be a connection to Roy Moore’s claims.) Nevertheless, the comments got turned in like some kid who did their research paper the night before it was due and forgot to remove the links they copied from.
At the end of the lawsuit, are screen shots of text messages from concerned citizens. One of them, Stewart Gillman gave his phone number and address (251-200-3432 if you want to give him a call). He was upset because he was playing a game on his iPhone and the ad came up. I’m sure Mr. Gillman is thrilled to have his information added to the document.
There are also tweets from voters. One of the tweets said they were watching Cash Cab on youtube when the ad appeared. (I think 48% of the people in Alabama wouldn’t make it a block in the Cash Cab.)
Anyway, if you have the time and want some laughs here’s a link: https://www.scribd.com/document/367998949/Roy-Moore-Complaint?irgwc=1&content=10079&campaign=Skimbit%2C%20Ltd.&ad_group=33330X1169095X4c77544741634a4526d7be825e5af585&keyword=ft750noi&source=impactradius&medium=affiliate#from_embed
All this typing has me hungry, I’m going to grab a souvlaki.
Categories: A Year Of tRUMP