Day 341

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Dumpster Fire and Furher Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein has been hiding his golfing from the American public because he said he wasn’t going to have time to golf when he was president. This week there is a big white truck blocking camera from seeing El Loco golfing. (He is golfing more than any other president in history. Right now, he is golfing more than Tiger Woods.)

Do I care if Trumplestillskin golfs? Not really, if he needs a break from his difficult job of covering up his Russian collusion and lying to the American public, he might need to get out on the links and hit a few balls into the woods. There’s nothing more stressful than having to keep secrets, especially when those secrets are Russian secrets. 

Roy “The Montgomery Mall Mauler” Moore isn’t riding his horse off into the sunset like a spastic just yet. He has filed a lawsuit claiming that too many people voted against him. There is nothing worse than a racist snowflake who can’t accept the vote total. Maybe write a book and go on tour. You can call the book “My Name’s Roy. Do You Like Candy?” 

Florida Rep Looney Rooney is walking back his call for purging of the FBI. Now he just wants partisan members of the FBI to be removed. What a great plan. I think there are lots more right leaning FBI agents than left leaning, but here’s the thing, I’ll bet they can still do their job without being a partisan hack like you Mr. Rooney. 

The end of the year is closing in and I hope Mueller is filling his dance card with lots of names. 

Until then I’m going to fill my dance card with souvlaki.

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