A Year Of tRUMP

Day 338

Merry Christmas! (I’ll come back to this in a moment.) I woke up this morning, ran downstairs, and looked under the tree… Santa Mueller didn’t leave me what I wanted! This is a good time to learn the difference between what I want and what I need. I want President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Dumpster Fire and Furher Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein to be locked up in a little jail cell where he has to eat prison food and doesn’t get his six diet cokes each day. I want him to pay for the rise in what racists think is acceptable in our nation. I want his entire administration to burn to the ground like the Hindenburg… but, what I need is a governmental system of checks and balances. I need a healthy justice system. I need freedom of speech. I need life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… and I still have those… for now. I’ll take Trumplestillskin in jail later. I’d like it today, but I’ve waited 338 days so far, I can wait ten more. 

Trumpenstein has tweeted that he personally has saved Merry Christmas from the ash pile of history. Yep, nobody was saying this just last year. I completely forgot all about Christmas. Last year at this time I was like, “Happy… what is this day?” Donnie Trump was sent by God to save us all. Now let’s lead lives like our savior. How can I be more like our Orangutan in Chief? I wonder is Jesus is happy with the little orange-handed man? Remember, Jesus was a Middle Easterner. Jesus said that it was easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven. Jesus also healed people without co-pays, out of pocket costs, and insurance. If Jesus were around today, I think he’d sound a lot more like the Jewish Senator from Vermont than the “Presbyterian” President from Queens. 

One thing El Presidente Loco needs to keep in mind is that he is under investigation for obstruction of justice. One of the material witnesses to this charge is FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe. So… when you tweet at McCabe to get him out of office, or try to insinuate that McCabe is unreliable, YOU ARE OBSTRUCTING JUSTICE! Your Twitter feed is going to be a pretty tight noose. Keep it up you bloated bag of pus. 

Nikki “Nimrata Randhawa” Haley announced that the UN budget will be cut by a quarter of a billion dollars next year. Good idea. We need more tax breaks for the wealthy and we will need more money for all the wars we start next year. Let’s cut the programs that might prevent that. Who is planning our budget? Vlad “The Election Impaler” Putin? 

Well, it is time to open that warm souvlaki under the tree. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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