Day 333

The tax bill, aka wealth-care 2017, has to head back to the House because they rushed it through the process and broke a few rules. Who cares? Right. We are all going to get a windfall. I’m going to buy five new cars and a house in Hawaii with the extra tax money I’m going to get. Who cares if we don’t have money for schools, roads, infrastructure, research, healthcare, or any of those other things we might need to have what one calls CIVILIZATION!!! 

Sarah “Wednesday Addams” Huckabee Sanders has mastered doublespeak. She was asked ten different ways about how President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Lord Dampnut Von Trumpenstein promised to tax the rich so the rest of us could have another bowl of porridge. 

Reporter, “Didn’t he say that he would pay more?”

“He will pay more.”

“But his businesses will pay far less.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Maybe yes, maybe no. He will personally pay more, because more than zero is one. He will pay one. Which is more than zero.” 

“But his businesses will pay less, much less.” 

“That’s your opinion.”

“That’s a fact.”

“Your opinion isn’t a fact.”

“But numbers and math make it obvious that he will be making more money.”

“Fake math. Fake news. 2+2= 5. Next question.”

“Chris Wallace, Faux Newz. Could you bake me a pie?”

“Sure, aren’t you coming to my War on Christmas party? All the Faux Newz team is coming.”

The UN voted to tell the US to stick their Jerusalem capital proclamation where the sun doesn’t shine… in the Dick Cheney. Trumplestillskin told our UN ambassador to keep track of the countries who voted against us because he is keeping track like Santa. The threat is to reduce aid to countries voting against the US. Yep, we are officially a third-world dictatorship. When will Trumplestillskin get his army suit with lots of medals to wear out in public? 

Rosie O’Donnell has offered two million dollars to senators Flake and Collins to vote against the tax bill. It is illegal to bribe senators and congressmen… unless you give them money for reelection or put in the Corker Amendment… that makes it all okay. Bribing is wrong. Fixing the system so only rich companies and people benefit is called capitalism… and that is good. It’s just liked the fine line between a gyros and a souvlaki. They look the same, they taste the same, but only one is good.

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