President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Lord Dampnut Von Trumpenstein is about to get his first chance to sign legislation. That’s right folks, it has been 332 days of winning, and more winning, and more winning… racking up those legislative wins. Today, we fix the tax code so those who already have too much can get more. If you work for a living, this tax bill will help you until you have to pay for everything that will be taken away because there is no tax base to support anything any longer. If you earn your living doing nothing, you’ll get a significant windfall. That’s how it works in republican America. 

Paul “Ayn Rand Lovechild” Ryan was positively exuberant as he talked about how this was going to bring more money home for middle- and low-income people. People that lie like that should have to be punched in the face repeatedly until they tell the truth. The truth is: “We’re coming after Medicade, Medicare, and Social Security next.” 

If you haven’t seen the new addition to the Hall of Presidents at Disneyland, you need to take a peek. The new Trumplestillskin robot looks like an orange bag of pus. In other words, exactly like the Donald. I hope they dress him up in handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit when he gets arrested. 

Until then, I’m stocking up on souvlaki and hoping Santa Mueller is going to visit soon.