President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Lord Dampnut Von Trumpenstein helped to prevent a terrorist attack… in Russia… with the help of information from the intelligence agencies he continues to bash. Donnie Orange Fingers called up his BFF, Vlad “The Election Impaler” Putin to let him know that St. Petersburg was going to be attacked. I hope El Presidente Loco didn’t say anything else, like “Here’s how we got the information,” but you know he did. 

Roy “The Montgomery Mall Mauler” Moore will not concede. He recorded a statement that will play on Nickelodeon and Disney Kids to say he’s sticking with it and has a Santa outfit and candy for anyone who wants to drop by his house. 

Things in the Santa Mueller investigation are heating up. Trumplestillskin’s lawyer has said that Mueller has illegally obtained emails from the Trumpenstein transition team. That’s rich… emails gotten illegally… the irony is rich with this group. Were those emails emails about getting Hillary’s emails illegally? Or, were those emails emails about Hillary’s emails that were emails about emails that she sent in regards to emails that were stolen by Russian Hackers (aka Wikileaks).

Put all this together: The CDC banning words, Faux Newz floating a banner that asked if there was a “coup” taking place by Mueller, the Orangutan in Chief continuing to call things “fake news” and attacking the Justice Department, FBI, and government agencies that are preventing the robber barons from taking everything, and Trumplestillskin’s lawyers saying that the investigation is illegal. What does all that add up to? Sounds like Santa Mueller will be fired to me. I’d bet it will happen right after everyone leaves WA DC for Christmas vacations. 

The good news is that Santa Mueller has been a few steps ahead of the turnip heads he is investigating, and I really think he will bring all of us what we want for Christmas. 

It should be a wild Christmas either way. Now, I’m going to sit back with my souvlaki and pretend everything is going to be okay.