Day 325

Today is the day that Alabama gets to decide if they will go from a stain on America to a stain on all humankind. Roy “The Mauling Mall Rat” Moore could be a senator by the end of the day, or the people of Alabama could vote in someone with a functioning brain. Moore’s final election speech and rally was something else. Kinda like something a deranged, paranoid, moron would put together… very much like the press conferences Saddam Hussain had right before we invaded. 

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Lord Dampnut Von Trumpenstein’s accusers are back in the news. Sarah “Grown Up Wednesday Addams” Huckabee-Sanders said that the voters have already spoken… okay, do we now use elections to decide on illegal actions? That’s an odd way to decide whether President Pu**y Grabber is innocent or not. I suppose all the Nazis could have used that defense during the Nuremberg Trials. “The German people have spoken.” 

“Oh, in that case. Head back home. Sorry we took your time, Mr. Goebblels.” (I know he committed suicide, and this is historically inaccurate, but as one of the prime providers of Fake News I must continue to hone my craft.)

El Loco Presidente does have the lowest approval rating of any president. That’s pretty bad. His supporters (aka White Nationalists who drink leaded water) are sticking with him until they lose their coal jobs. 

What many families are going to lose is CHIP. Child healthcare is only a concern when the babies are in the womb for republicans. After kids are born, then who cares about them, they can fend for themselves. 

Santa Mueller, I know you want to keep us on our toes with anticipation, but please bring me a souvlaki and an orange man in an orange suit. I’ve been a reasonably good boy this year. (Take my word for it and don’t talk to too many people.)

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