Day 318

Billy “Shouldn’t Adults be Called Bill” Bush has been located and is making appearances again. He has also written an editorial saying that President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Lord Dampnut Von Trumpenstein did say those vile things on the Access Hollywood bus. I’m sure Trumplepie will have another excuse why this is fake news. 

Or he may not need any fake news to bail him out. It looks like he’s decided that saber rattling with North Korea will get him out of the hot waters of justice. The US has shipped a bunch of stealth bombers and fighters over there and are playing war games with 230 Air Force jets. I’m not sure where Kim Jong Un is going to fire off his rockets, but let’s hope that somebody remembers that this isn’t a board game we’re playing here. 

If you thought that Mitch “Turtleneck Is Still Covered by Trumpcare” McConnell had a soul, take a look at how he is walking back his criticism of Roy “The Montgomery Maller” Moore. Now, McConnell is saying, “Let the people of Alabama decide if they want to elect a pretend cowboy who thinks it’s okay to molest young girls.” 71% of the republicans in the state think the charges are fake news. That tells you everything you need to know about Alabama. If Alabama votes Moore in, I vote that we jump ship and form the Cascadian Nation, or ask to join Canada. I’ll help pay for a wall from Portland to Vancouver BC. 

Trumplestillskin’s lawyer, John Dowd, is claiming to have written the tweet that shows Trumplestillskin obstructed justice. This Dowd guy is like the Forrest Gump of lawyers: Iran Contra, Pete Rose, John McCain (Keating Five). One would think that someone with his varied experience would know that pleaded is past tense of plead…and not what Trump tweeted which was pled. I’m sure Dowd has a good reason to jump on the sword…like he knows he won’t get paid if Trumpenstein ends up in prison. 

El Loco Presidente is going to shrink federal lands in Utah because he says it was a land grab (something he is kinda familiar with) by the federal government. This is the type of action that feeds into the lunatic fringe of the republican party. The type of guys who take over a chunk of Oregon to prove they have guns and IQs below 70. 

It doesn’t take someone with a lot of brain power to know that a souvlaki a day keeps the doctor away.

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