Day 288

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein Von Drumpf is in Hawaii looking for Obama’s birth certificate. Remember about ten years ago he promised that he would release some really, really important information from people he had looking into Obama’a birthplace? Yep, that must be why he’s there…or he could be trying to squeeze in a round of golf before heading out to embarrass the US in Asia. God Speed Mr. Trumpenstein. 

H. W. Bush has called Trumlestillskin a blowhard in his new book. It is one of the nicer things Trump has been called lately. 

Little racist gnome, Jeffro Bowdeen is getting zero support from his big orange buddy and it looks like the tiny elfin figure will soon be back in hiding. (It should be harder to find him during the holiday season, because he can blend in with all those manger scenes. “Is that Sessions, or a shepherd?) 

I hope our fearless liar has a great trip to China and Korea, maybe he’ll find out things that no one knew:

1. China is big.

2. There’s two Koreas

3. Chinese food is different at Trump Tower

4. Spray tans in Asia aren’t orange

5. The Great Wall is big

6. It’s hard to find a Souvlaki Hut in Beijing

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