Day 287

For eleven minutes the world was free from a Donnie Trumplestillskin Twitter account. A twitter employee, on his/her last day, deleted Trumpenstein’s account. (In my opinion this person should be put in the Twitter Hall of Fame.) President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer responded with his second most confusing tweet ever (he’ll never top covfefe). His tiny fingers typed, “I guess the word must finally be getting out-and having an impact.” What the hell is that? Is that the message that will activate the robots, or the Manchurian Candidate? 

The smallest cabinet member is in hot water, it’s like a teacup of hot water, for not reporting meetings with Russians…again. Jeffro Bowdeen Sessions was at another meeting where Russian contact was discussed. Carter “Walking Disaster Zone” Page has said that Sessions and George “I Got All My International Experience at Model UN” Papadopolous were at a meeting with Page where they talked about Russia. Sessions was aware Page was going to Russia and knew Papadopolous was attempting to contact Russians. Sounds like it’s time to get that little jail cell warmed up. 

El Loco Presidente is off to Asia starting today. He’ll be gone until November 14th. This is our chance everyone! Let’s get to work and start building a fake WA DC. There is probably space in Kansas somewhere. We build the whole thing like they did in Blazing Saddles and then when Trump comes back, we just fly him into Kansas instead of DC. We can hire actors to play reporters and cabinet members. (I think we can even fool the whole Faux Newz crew.) He’ll never figure it out. Then, we see if we can get Prince William, or Prince Harry to run the place until 2020. Those guys would do fine, and it isn’t like they are going to get to be king in the next few years. 

Okay, it’s a plan. I’ll provide the souvlaki. Let’s get to work.

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