Day 286

The Intelligence Committee looked at the Russian Facebook ads that help sway people to vote for an orange man with tiny hands and big plans. Some of the ads were pretty clever, others were stupid, but it doesn’t take much to fool some people: Benghazi!

Okay, this is going to sound mean, but would somebody puncture (metaphorically) that human bag of lying garbage Sarah Huckabee Sanders? Every press conference is one lie piled on top of another lie. Yesterday, the Orangutan in Chief said something, Jim Acosta repeated it word for word, and she denied that that Liar in Chief said that. THERE IS A THING CALLED RECORDING! HE SAID IT! How can you sit there with your Wednesday Addams’ face and Easter dress and say, “He didn’t say that”? 

You know what else Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster Fire and Fuhrer Von Trumplestillskin Von Trumpenstein said? He said that the courts are a joke and that the “animals” who commit terrorist acts need to have a punishment worse than the worst punishment. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, but let’s not head back there at this point in time. I do agree with one thing he said, the court system works a little too slow for my liking when it comes to putting his buddies in jail. Yes, Santa Mueller should be allowed to put all of the Trumplestillskins in Gitmo and then waterboard them until we get to the bottom of what the hell is going on. (Actually, I don’t think waterboarding them is a good idea. Unless we are talking about Bannon and THE KUSH.) 

Remember when it wasn’t the right time to talk about gun control right after the Las Vegas shooting? Well, apparently, it’s okay to talk about terrorism right after a terrorist attack. The difference is that one crime is committed by an “animal” and the other is committed by a rich white guy. (I’m pretty sure ISIS has already made ten Youtube ads with Trumplestillskin calling them animals. Woohoo, guy with all the best words.) Let’s make it okay to talk about fixing problems right after they occur. I’m okay with that. 

There is only one thing that can be talked about all the time: souvlaki.

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