Day 280

The prototypes of the Trump Wall are sitting in some empty place (not as empty as the place where this idea was thought of…the space between President Agent Orange Julius Caesar’s ears) in the Southwest. I looked at them and decided that one I like best is the see through one that is powered by solar panels. The invisible one…I can build it for 50% of what everyone else is offering. Sure, I only have one employee, but that is only one less than the energy company who got the $300 million bid to fix the electricity in Puerto Rico. I can have my imaginary walls up and running as soon as the check clears. When I’m all done, you’ll be able to find me in an undisclosed country where extradition laws protect me. I’ll ask THE KUSH where those are because he’s probably been Googling that for about 280 days. 

If you think the walls are about jobs and protecting us from “bad hombres,” please explain to me why ICE agents arrested a 10-year-old girl with cerebral palsy on her way to emergency surgery. This is who we are now. We are the country rounding up 10-year-old sick children and sending them back to Mexico. #MAGA The only job this girl is qualified to take is Von Trumplestillskin’s. 

We’re also the nation where republicans cry tears of joy when they can vote on a $1.5 trillion tax break. This will increase the debt…remember that thing all the republicans were crying tears of fear about when Obama was in charge? Yeah, now it’s all about trickle down tax reform and give the rich guys more money so they can stimulate the economy in the Monte Carlo, and Zurich. The House barely passed the bill, the Senate will probably vote it down…if not, I’m going to invest in the family sized tent industry and opioid companies because the only thing trickling down will be pain. 

Most of the JFK files are out. Ted “Melty Face” Cruz has his entire staff combing through the files to see if Trumpenstein was right about Ted’s dad killing JFK. The files I want Trump to release are the ones called HIS TAXES!!!! We’re talking about TAX REFORM and we don’t have a clue how our liar in chief cheats on his taxes. We don’t have Bill Clinton, Harvey Weinstein, and Bill Cosby reforming sexual harassment laws in our nation, we shouldn’t have a bunch of wealthy morons doing tax reform. 

For those of you celebrating Trumplestillskin’s amazing Wall Street performance, take a look at what the markets in Germany, France, and Japan are doing. They are performing better than the good old USA. So, take that and stick it in your 401K. 

Well, the US government has discovered how to use photoshop. T-Rex Tillerson is in Afghanistan…we think. There is a picture of him meeting with government officials in Afghanistan. The picture looks pretty normal, until you see pictures from the Afghani press. There is a bunch of stuff removed from the US pictures: A clock, Kim Jong Un, Barney the purple dinosaur, the ghost of Ronald Reagan, Paul Manafort, Vlad Putin, and a full platter of souvlaki. It’s probably no big deal though.

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