Day 273

Agent Orangutan has given himself a “10” for his handling of Puerto Rico. This goes along with his list of other historical tens: Titanic Rescue, The Matrix 3, Ben Affleck as Batman, The Samsung Galaxy Note 7, Microsoft Windows 10. 

Trumplestillskin does have a defender, Vlad “the election Impaler” Putin has said that people need to respect Trumpenstein’s mandate. He added, “I printed and counted the votes. I know he won.” 

Nikki “Six” Haley disagrees with Mr. Putin. She said yesterday that the Russian interference in the election was tantamount to warfare. Hold on. I thought this was all a nothing burger, inside and nothing bun, inside a nothing wrapper. Why is Nikki off script? She’s gone rogue. 

George W. “How you like me now” Bush gave a scathing speech yesterday saying that Trumplestillskin has emboldened bigotry. Yikes! That’s got to sting. I’m sure Bannon will start running articles in Breitbart about how Bush started a war with the wrong country, and how Cheney was really in charge, and pretty much everything I said while he was in office…man I miss that old nincompoop.

Paul “Ayn Rand” Ryan had some pretty funny zingers at the Al Smith dinner last night. Check out the highlights if you have a chance. 

Friday has arrived and you know what that means. Double down on souvlaki.

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