Day 265

In 100 days we will reach one year of rule under the Trumplestillskin administration…if we survive the next 100 days…or if Agent Orange survives.

This morning it sounds like everyone in Washington DC hates Donnie Trumpie. White House Chief of Staff, Machine Gun Kelly is miserable. T-Rex Tillerson is angry. Who knows where Jeffro Bowdeen Sessions is hiding…probably in an empty tin can of tuna. Sarah Huckabee Saunders’ makeup is slowly turning her into a Sith Lord. And sitting in the middle of this mess is a three-year-old who is angry because he didn’t get everything he wanted. 

Statesman Eminem has a freeform rap about Trumplestillskin that is blowing up the internet. I tried to watch it, but when it comes to white guys spitting mad rhymes, I’ll stick with John Keats. 

Because Agent Orange Julius Caesar doesn’t know how the Constitution works, or what his job is, he wants to revoke NBC’s license. Imagine if Obama had suggested the same thing for Faux Newz. The old white guys in our country would have bought ALL the guns and started fortifying their double-wide’s. Senator Ben “It’s Pronounced SASS, Not Sassy” Sasse (R-NE) has asked if Trump is forgetting his oath of office. You know the part where he promised to protect the Constitution. Remember the oath? That was where the largest group of people gathered in the history of the world. The sun came out as Trumplestillskin was speaking and God’s voice was heard to say, “This is some guy from New Jersey. I’ve done better. What’s the deal with the electoral college? Really dumb, guys.” 

Well, we can all be assured that we made it this far surviving on souvlaki and lies. We can make it 100 more days.

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