Day 264

Well, here we are. We are flying bombers over the Korean Peninsula because Agent Orange Julius Caesar Dumpster Fire and Fury Von Trumplestillskin wants to show the little rocket man who is the boss. Can’t we just get these two together and have them fight to the death? If we call it the battle of the perfect human, I think they’ll both buy in. They both think pretty highly of themselves, so it could save us a lot of trouble. The winner gets the entire Korea Peninsula. Just call me Mr. Art of the Deal. 

Carter “Which Russian Are You Asking About” Page is going to plead the 5th when he is asked to turn over documents to the Russian investigation. This turnip head has vanished from the airwaves since he was interviewed and admitted to meeting with a few Russians. Trumplestillskin then said he didn’t know Carter Page. I totally understand, it’s hard to keep track of all the guys Trump hired to work for him and the Russians. I mean if it was just Don-Fredo, Manafort, and Bannon it would be easier, but there are at least a dozen dudes. They should all start learning how to make a shank out of a spoon. 

The Russian cyber security company was hacked…by Israel. Then Israel told the NSA, “Hey, these guys have your passwords and pictures of you in bed with a goat.” The NSA has made no comment and is currently finding pictures of Israel in bed with Yasser Arafat. 

The Pittsburgh Penguins visited the White House and Trumplestillskin said they were “incredible patriots.” I’m not sure how I should take that. Of the 24 players on the Penguins team, 9 are from Canada, 2 from Finland, 2 from Sweden, 1 German, and 1 Russian. So… more than half of the team is from somewhere other than the US? Or, does Trump believe the National Hockey League is made up of US citizens? I hope they kept an eye on the Russian guy. He was probably there to pick up all the spy gear left by the Russian Spies Trump let into the Oval Office to brag about firing Comey. 

I won’t be watching any hockey this year because they seem to be prejudiced against Greek players. Zero Greek hockey players in the NHL. I stand with my souvlaki brothers. #NoNHLUntilGreeksCanPlay

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s