Day 260

Really people? We’re still doing this? I not talking about the Souvlaki Hut, I’m talking about our country being run by a four-year-old. 

Yesterday, The Carrot Colored Gaddafi met with our military leaders and said that it was the calm before the storm. Is he talking about North Korea? Is he talking about Iran? (He’s calling to decertify the Iran nuclear deal.) Is he talking about the next hurricane winding its way toward New Orleans? Is this what he says to Melania each night before falling asleep in the Lincoln bedroom covered in bits of Lays Sour Cream and Onion potato chips? 

It’s probably North Korea. I hope his “storm” planning involves how to remove 20 million civilians from South Korea and 50 million civilians from Japan. I’m certain that the military leaders are saying the same thing Vice President Darth Cheney said before invading Iran, “We’ll be greeted as liberators.” Yep, that’s how it worked. It’s harder than that to change people who have been brainwashed for their entire lives. These North Koreans aren’t just going to set their guns down on the ground and say, “Thanks. I didn’t want to use this anyway.” Kinda like NRA members who, when presented with a logical argument about how guns don’t make people safer, will hand over their AK-47s and AR-15s. They aren’t likely to see LOGICAL thinking and agree that guns do kill people. Or people who support the Mini-Peach-Putin and watch Faux Newz every morning…logic doesn’t stop them in their tracks as they think about how Trumplestillskin sold our election to the Russians, lies on a daily basis, and is doing everything he can to screw the little guy. Nope, people who have surrendered the part of their brain that helps them make logical decisions aren’t going to suddenly see the light. So, if the storm is invading North Korea, then let me just say the same thing I always say when it comes to war…I’m already against the next one. 

Everyone’s favorite Racist Elvin cookie maker got out of the closet Steve Road Warrior (I fought the road and the road won) Bannon locked him in three months ago. Mr. Sessions has decided that transgender people aren’t people. At least that’s my legal understanding of what he has said about discrimination laws protecting transgender people. If discrimination laws don’t protect transgendered people then they must not be people in his mind, because there is no other explanation for thinking that they don’t have rights like every American. This is a slippery slope for an elf. I don’t know if elves are protected under discrimination laws either. Maybe we can count elves as 3/5ths of a person and take away their rights too. While we’re at it, can we make a law preventing snickerdoodles from being over-cooked? Come on Sessions! Snickerdoodles are supposed to be soft in the middle…just like a souvlaki.

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