President Trumpoo Von Trumpoo dedicated the President’s golf trophy to the victims of the hurricanes. Yep, that’s what these people need, a trophy. (Engrave it with “Participation in a Hurricane, 2017.”) I’m sure all the people in Puerto Rico were pretty pumped when they heard the news…wait, they don’t have power, so they probably don’t know yet. Maybe the Mini-Peach-Putin should deliver it to them. If he filled it with clean drinking water, they might actually be happy. 

Gov Kasich says he may leave the GOP unless things change. I’m not sure what he means, maybe he just thinks there aren’t enough racist voters in Ohio to get him reelected. 

Steve “Grandma Glasses” Mnuchin says there is no guarantee of a middle-class tax cut in the Trump tax plan. You know what I can guarantee? The rich will do much better in this tax plan than the poor. You know how I know? Trump said the exact opposite. “My friends are going to hate me. They are going to call me. They are going to be mad. This is going to hurt me too, but it’s the right thing to do.” Can anyone lie that much and not burst into flames? Eliminating the estate tax alone will save Trumpoo over a billion dollars. Yeah, I’ll be getting a billion-dollar tax break in the year 4040 when the average income in 600 billion dollars. 

It’s probably too early to say that maybe it’s time to think about reducing the number of guns in the US. A crazy white dude just shot over 200 people and killed as many as 50 in Las Vegas. Not terrorism…unless you count every mass shooting as terrorism…which I do. Terrorism is what happens when someone from the Middle East kills people. This is just another day in the USA, where guns are like hamburgers. You want it your way? Well, here you go. Get one with lots of bullets so you can shoot that bad guy with a gun.

“If you don’t like it, move somewhere else.” 

“Okay, I’m looking for a place where I can get a souvlaki and they have reasonable gun laws…so just about anywhere in the world.”