Day 252

Huge Hefner died, THE KUSH is a woman according to his voter registration, and President “Putin On The Ritz” Trump believes he has enough votes to get the Senate healthcare bill through…two days after Mitch “Turtles Are People Too” McConnell announced there would be no vote because he can count numbers. (Trump can count to ten. He can count to twenty when he has his shoes off…twenty and a half when he is naked.) THE KUSH is claiming his voter registration was a miscommunication. Is THE KUSH the guy republicans were worried would go into women’s restrooms? Can this guy fill out any paperwork without making an error? What is going on? This is the guy who is going to create Middle East peace? 

The Trumperstar tax plan is out. Here’s the good news, everyone gets a break. Everyone! Yeah! No more paying for roads, or schools, or all that stuff that the government can just give us for free. I’ll summarize the tax plan simply: Rich get richer, everyone else–social Darwinism. 

The NFL protest thing is reaching a tipping point. USLF-Trump doesn’t seem to understand his continued support of firing people for expressing opinions isn’t really a thing in the US. That’s more of a North Korea thing, or Russian thing, or Chinese thing. I’m glad he has enough time in his day to continue to fight for the killing of unarmed black men. 

Steve “Darth Vader Without the Helmet” Bannon is recruiting the next round of politicians to drain the swamp in WA DC. His first winner was the cowboy hat wearing Alabama lunatic Roy Moore. What Bannon is looking for in a candidate: 

1. Cowboy hat wearer

2. Willing to incite racial hatred

3. Possibly literate

4. Male

5. Listens to the Pappy O’Daniel Flour Hour

6. Loves NASCAR, SEC Football, and Mama

7. Kneels at the cross and stands next to the flag

8. Thinks Hitler had some good ideas

9. Never eats souvlaki.

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