Day 248

President Agent-Orange-Julius-Caesar Dumpster-Fire-and-Fuhrer The-Radish-Shaped-Ruler The-Mini-Peach-Putin Von Trumplestillskin is taking on professional sports. Apparently, he doesn’t have anything else to do. He has decided to put a line in the sand on the important issue of paying attention during the National Anthem. If you don’t know about Trumplestillskin’s long suffering battle with the NFL watch the 30 for 30 on the USFL called Small Potatoes. It’s about Trumplestillskin’s inability to land an NFL franchise and suing the USFL. He won $1. I’m not kidding, he won a dollar. 

Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? America turns its lonely eye to you…

Other than that, Trump-roast is still under investigation. The North Koreans called him an old school Shakespearian name that means old fool. North Korea: 1 Trump: 0, on the insult game. Rocket Man is funny but not insulting. That’s like calling Trumplestillskin Divorce Guy, or Furniture Shopper. 

Trump care (aka die in a room by yourself…if you’re lucky, if you’re unlucky you’ll die in an alley…your dead body covered by cardboard) is still alive. It will all come down to a battle of the Ayn Rand wing of the GOP and the 1984 wing of the party. Here’s to Victory Gin and Victory Souvlaki!

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