Day 239

President Agent-Orange-Julius-Caesar Dumpster-Fire-and-Fuhrer The-Mini-Peach-Putin Von Trumplestillskin spent yesterday contradicting himself. He kicked off the day by continuing the claim that both sides were to blame for the violence in Charlottesville. In a philosophical sense he is right. If a bunch of Nazi’s falls in a forest and no one is around, do they make a sound? I’m not sure, but can we find out? I’d like to start with Richard Spencer. 

By the time the evening rolled around, Trump was signing a resolution condemning white supremacists. There are two ways to look at this:

1. He watched Faux Newz in the morning as they covered the Antifa group in Berkley and was like, “Those are some bad hombres,” but then by the time evening rolled around he forgot where he was, who he was, and who his base was, and signed a document he couldn’t read. 

2. He’s an idiot. 

In other hate news, it seems my favorite place to post a daily status report and souvlaki videos was allowing advertisers to target audiences with their ads. Well, that sounds reasonable until you hear that “Jew Haters” was one of the target audiences. This is good information to have because I’ll need some targeted ads for my upcoming book “365 Days Of Trump Souvlaki.” 

For fun, North Korea shot another rocket over Japan. I’m not sure when they will feel the “fire and fury” that Trumplestillskin promised, but his rhetoric isn’t really slowing old Kim Jong Un (the boy king with a boy king haircut) down much. Instead of destroying Korea, maybe Trump-roast is just enjoying Korean BBQ and being told that this is the way to get even with Un. 

Hope “I’m Just Doing This Until Faux Newz Hires Me” Hicks has been named the White House Communications Director. Good luck, Hope. You’ll last longer than the Mooch since he was fired before he was hired. 

Trump will be hiring the guy who help with the Souvlaki Hut video next.

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