Day 238

Steve #GrandmaGlasses #ISpentHighSchoolStuffedInALocker Mnuchin asked for a military jet to take him on his honeymoon. His ex-actress, ex-model wife #FaceBySurgeon #PantsByVersace wanted to fly to their honeymoon on the taxpayer’s dime. I think this is an excellent idea…all Americans should get private jets to fly to their honeymoons. Who cares about universal healthcare and free college tuition? I want my honeymoon trip to New Zealand. Where’s Bernie Sanders on this one? 

Sarah “1970s Cher Hair” Huckabee-Sanders wants ESPN’s Jamele Hill fired for tweeting that President Agent-Orange-Julius-Caesar Dumpster-Fire-and-Fuhrer The-Mini-Peach-Putin Von Trumplestillskin is a white supremacist. I mean, what would lead Hill to tweet that? The pardoning of Arpaio? The support of the “good people” who chanted blood and soil and Jews will not replace us? The revoking of DACA? Calling Mexicans rapists and murderers? It isn’t like he’s walking around in a sheet with eye holes. I do agree with Huckabee-Sanders. If people tweet offensive things, they should lose their jobs. “Welcome to your new office, President Pence.” I think Texas will be looking for a new Senator to replace Ted “Porn” Cruz-ing too. 

The democrats say they have a deal with Trump on DACA, but Trumplestillskin tweeted that no such deal exists. The democrats need to go furniture shopping to seal the deal. I think a nice rocking chair for Trumpster-Fire’s retirement would be the perfect gift. 

North Korea has announced they are going to sink Japan and turn the US into ashes and darkness. Is this a global warning threat? North Korea has suddenly started their long game of melting the polar ice caps and flooding Japan. Um…hey North Korea, that will flood you too. Or, maybe Un got a Battleship game for his birthday and wants to pretend to sink Japan…”Oh no, you sank my battleship.” 

I’m going to sink my teeth into something delicious: Souvlaki!

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