Anyone else feel like President Agent-Orange-Julius-Caesar Dumpster-Fire-and-Fuhrer The-Mini-Peach-Putin Von Trumplestillskin is hiding in an underground bunker? I haven’t seen his orange face for a few days, but maybe that’s because I’ve been busy. In light of not seeing him for a few days, I’m going to start a rumor that he had a stroke and they are currently looking for an actor to replace him. “Paging Alec Baldwin. Mr. Baldwin please report the the Oval Office.” Maybe it has happened already…Trumplestillskin has stepped across the aisle to work with the democrats. Is Alec Baldwin our president?
Reports have surfaced that THE KUSH (another invisible man) was asked by Trump-roast’s lawyers to step down. THE KUSH said, “THE KUSH doesn’t step down from anything. I don’t even walk down steps. If I see some stairs going down, I take an elevator. One time in elementary school there were stairs and my daddy build me a personal elevator so I wouldn’t ever have to step down.” Trumplestillskin’s lawyers are worried that THE KUSH’s connections to Russia are going to endanger the Mini-Peach-Putin…if that is really him…and not Alec Baldwin.
Those bothersome courts are back at it. CA is suing the Trumpster-Fire administration over DACA. If this goes like all the rest of the court cases during the first 236 days, it won’t be long before Trump goes to the mic to say, “These rogue courts are destroying America. All I want to do is make America great again, like Putin did to Russia. #MRGA” The winning, on top of the winning, on top of the winning is starting to feel like losing.
I will declare one victory for President Agent Orange, the UN has passed sanctions on North Korea. Now, Trumplestillskin did say the UN was worthless and terrible (I’m not sure of the exact quote, but it was probably something erudite like “sad”). Either way, more sanctions against North Korea might get me out of my underground bunker (my underground bunker is a dirty tarp) and thinking we might survive the first year of the Trump administration. I never thought it would happen.
Let’s celebrate day 236 with a souvlaki for lunch.
Categories: A Year Of tRUMP