Day 231

Donnie-Fredo Trumpo Jr. didn’t get much sleep last night. He was up late practicing saying, “I don’t know that word you are using. Do you have the word’s origin? Is there another way of saying the word? Um…could you use it in a sentence? Okay, collusion. C O I L L U S I O N.” 

“This isn’t a spelling contest, Mr. Trump.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry. My dad said it was a spelling bee.”

“It’s not a spelling bee. We have told you that five times.” 

“I’m not very smart. Haven’t you seen my twitter feed?” 

On the other Russian front, Facebook has turned over records of a Russian company buying ads during the election. The “company” is probably called the KGB. 

Maybe the KGB will get memberships at Agent Orange Julius Caesar Trumpster-Fire and Fuhrer-The Mango Madman-Von Trumplestillskin’s golf clubs like the lobbyists are. Yeah, memberships at his clubs are being snapped up by lobbyists who know he spends about 40% of his time at those clubs walking around in a gold robe and Croc sandals. Draining the swamp and moving it to Mar-a-Lago is okay with me as long as the Mini-Peach Putin gets the swamp there before Hurricane Irma arrives. 

A Florida Sheriff will be checking people for warrants if they stay at shelters for protection from Irma. It reminds me of the part of the Bible where Jesus says, “You needed shelter, so I put you in jail.” That’s a classic Bible verse…Two Corinthians…it says it all. 

3,500 American troops are off to Afghanistan. I’ll bet none of them has a last name of Trump. Trump’s are only good at shooting stuff that can’t shoot back and has been located by a guide. 

Paul “Ayn Rand” Ryan has been tossed under the Trump Train. Trumplestillskin is now talking to the Democrats. This is the part of the movie where the audience knows not to go into that room, but Pelosi and Schumer are heading into the room anyway. “What’s in here?”

“Turn on the light, Nancy.” 

“AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Grover “I’m Not Named After a Sesame Street Character” Norquist walks out from behind the door and stabs everyone in the back with a pitchfork. (Norquist is like Beetlejuice, if you say tax cut three times in a row he appears.) 

If I’m going to stab anything with a fork it’s going to be a souvlaki.

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