As Hurricane Irma roars towards the hanging chad of Florida, the USA feels like we are being piloted by a drunken Ahab who had his brain bitten off and replaced with a chunk of ivory. Captain Agent Orange Julius Caesar Trumpster-Fire and Fuhrer-The Mango Madman-Von Trumplestillskin is at the helm of the USSMAGA and we are steaming toward the rocks.
The best news of the day is that Don-Fredo Jr is going to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary committee on Thursday. Here’s my version of how it will go:
“Did you really email a Russian spy and say you wanted information on Hillary?”
“I didn’t know that was wrong.”
“You didn’t know that colluding with a Russian spy was wrong?”
“Yeah, who knew that asking a foreign country to interfere with our elections was illegal?”
“Are you that dumb?”
“Yes, haven’t you seen my twitter feed? I’m an idiot.”
In Texas, as soon as they get the Houston area cleaned up, they will be restricting voting rights. They will have to change their motto from “Don’t Mess With Texas” to “Whites Only.”
The Peach Colored Putin has moved to end DACA. So, for those of you who are still under the impression that Trumplestillskin isn’t a mildewed ear, a king of shreds and patches, a dilapidated racist goon, I challenge you to explain his last three weeks. Explain how pardoning Arpaio wasn’t 100% motivated by racism. Explain how revoking DACA isn’t 100% racist. Those of us who voted against this clown knew that MAGA was code language for Make America More White Again. You knew it too. You said, “Don’t call me a racist.” You said, “The emails.” And now, here we are. A nation that wants to evict members of our communities because their skin color is darker than yours. Is this who we are? Is this the melting pot? Is your American Dream restricted to people who won the birth lottery and were born here? Well, to quote a man who knew all the great words, the big words, “Sad.” I have two words for you also, but since this is a PG-13 Facebook page I won’t write them here.
Hillary’s book is out. I’m not going to read it. From the excerpts I’ve seen, the book should be called, “It Isn’t My Fault…It’s Everybody Else’s Fault.” I hate sore losers almost as much as I hate sore winners. Yes, the election was probably fixed. Trump probably colluded with Russians…but… maybe posting the same video for 230 days would have been a better use of your time. This Souvlaki Hut ad goes out to Hillary. Better luck next time…and by that I mean, Elizabeth Warren 2020.