A Year Of tRUMP

Day 224

It’s getting ugly out their kids. Gov. Chris “I Like Big Beaches All To Myself and I Cannot Lie” Christie and Senator Ted “No, My Nose is Not Made of Melting Wax” Cruz are fighting. Christie has called Cruz a hypocrite for asking for aid for Texas when he voted against aid to NJ after Hurricane Sandy. Let me cut to the chase…I’ll pay $100 for a pay-per-view MMA fight between these two clowns. Christie is winning the troll war right now, but I’m sure Ted is waiting until Christie is down to kick him because that’s what Jesus would do…in Ted’s version of Christianity. 

Texas is in bad shape. Storms do happen, but…Texas hasn’t done anything to prepare for climate change. They have banned the term from any legislation. Did climate change make the storm happen? No. Did it make it worse that the waters were warmer? Yes. Did it make it worse that the sea levels have been rising? Yes. Should we build infrastructure to help battle these storms? Yes. Did Trump revoke Obama-era storm prevention building guidelines about ten days ago? Yes. Is President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Trumpster-Fire and Fuhrer-The Mango Madman-Von Trumplestillskin going to make the problem worse? Yes. I’m so tired of all this winning. #MAGA

Trumplestillskin announced that words don’t work with North Korea. When General Mattis was asked about Trump’s statement, Mattis said, “Um…I’m going to disagree.” That is a week after T-Rex Tillerson said that he spoke for the American people and Trump speaks for himself. It’s nice to know that we have a president who is leading like an honorary captain of a football team. 

“Okay, Donnie. What do you want to tell the team?”

“We should run the ball more.” 

“Great idea, Donnie. Okay, in the second half we are going to abandon the running game.” 

Pretty soon Trump-roast is going to be in the Oval Office all by himself…oh, Steven “Skynet Robot” Miller will still need to access his charging port, so he’ll be around. 

Mueller has hired the NY Attorney General to assist in the investigation. THIS IS HUGE. Trumpster-Fire cannot pardon someone for crimes charged by a state. Trumplestillskin is playing checkers and Mueller is playing chess. Paul “Mobster Hair” Manafort appears to be the target of Mueller’s pressure. The moves are beginning to all show Mueller’s long game. Trump has sworn multiple times that he has no business, no money, no connections to Russia…then we hear about the plans for Trump Tower Moscow. It is the most recent example of our Liar in Chief’s tall tales about Russia. The only question is whether Manafort will roll over on Trump. I’m betting he does. He’s the kind of cockroach that survives the atomic blast. 

Ann “I’m not Wearing a Horse head, this is My Real Face” Coulter trotted out of her stall to tweet at the presidential Orangutan. She is upset that he is talking about tax cuts when Trump should be oppressing Muslims and building a wall. She said the tax cuts were for Wall Street and not real Americans…she took a swipe at the “50% that don’t pay taxes” anyway. Classy gal who can take shots at the rich, the poor, and the middle class all at once. Somebody needs to put that bag of oats back on her head and give her a good brushing. I’ll take a pass on the oats and stick to souvlaki.

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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