President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Trumpster-Fire and Fuhrer-The Mango Madman-Von Trumplestillskin and First Lady Melania “These High Heels Were Made For Flood Walking” Trump were in Texas yesterday. I don’t know what Faux Newz had to say about the visit, but the news sources I follow all said that Trump-roast showed a lack of empathy for the people who were suffering. This should come as no surprise. I don’t believe Trumplestillskin has evolved to the point where he realizes that other people have feelings. I did see a few pictures of him, but I saw lots of pictures of Melania. She was wearing some really, really high heels. Is it a big deal? Nope, but it is odd. I would think that she would have thought, “I’m going to be doing lots of walking today. Maybe some waterproof flats.” Her shoe choice doesn’t show a lack of empathy, it shows a lack of fashion sense.
Trumpster-fire is off to Missouri to talk about tax cuts. So…let me get this straight…Trump goes from a place where tax dollars are needed to rescue people, to a place where he is going to say, “Taxes…bad.”
You know what would be a good use of tax money? A big trial with lots of people going to jail. Paul “I Always Order Russian Dressing on My Salad” Manafort’s former attorney and spokesperson have both been subpoenaed by Mueller’s team. There are reports that Don-Fredo is also going to be testifying soon. Now…here’s the problem according to my sources. Trump-roast has already set a precedent by pardoning Sheriff Joe “I was Racist Before it was Cool” Arpaio. Arpaio hadn’t shown remorse, been sentenced, or served any time. Those are all supposed to go into the deliberations before a pardon is granted. Instead, Trump acted like he was a king and did like Amon Goth in Schindler’s List, “I pardon you.” If the Orangutan in Chief now decides to start pardoning everyone who had Russian contacts will anyone in the republican party stand up and say, “You know, this isn’t really how things work”?
North Korea says that when it fired a rocket over Japan the other day that it was the first step in their plan. Is their plan to destroy the world as we know it? If it is, then this would be the way to do it. If their plan is to expand their power, then I’d say, “Guys, let’s go back to the old drawing board.”
On the good news front, Sean “Spicy” Spicer got his meeting with the Pope. I hope he asked for forgiveness for all the lies he told while standing behind the podium. PERIOD! (Yes, a period with an exclamation point is funny.)
Rumor has it that there is tasty souvlaki in Rome. I hope Sean picked one up.