Day 218

THE KUSH has been MIA for a long time. Where has he been? No idea, but I know where he is today…creating peace in the Middle East. Yep, he met with the Palestinian Authority leadership and said that things were looking good. THE KUSH has lots of experience being a slumlord so if the Palestinians don’t start behaving, he’ll staple a big “Evicted” sign to Palestine and call it good. 

The Palestinian Authority had one question, “Was that really THE KUSH? We think it was Michael Cera in a brown wig.” 

A judge has declared that an anti-Trump website has to turn over data to the DOJ. That’s not a good thing. I’ll probably be next. I’ll see you all at the reeducation camp. I’ll be the tall guy sweeping the floor. When the time is right, I’ll pick up the shower room centerpiece, toss it through a window, and make a run for it. It’s a solid strategy, nobody in the Trump Administration reads novels. 

The big news of the day on Faux Newz is that Nancy Pelosi’s father helped dedicate a Confederate statue of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson in 1948. (By the way, the same year Orwell wrote 1984…coincidence? Probably.) It is entirely possible that Pelosi’s father was a raging racist who said that our heritage was being attacked. His speech is popping up as a republican talking point. You can find the speech on the internet, where logic goes to die. (Don’t believe me? I’ve been doing THIS for 218 days…how logical is that?) 

Yep, her dad helped dedicate a statue to two losers. I’m not sure why the South doesn’t have lots more statues of second place. There could be a Shaq and Penny Hardaway statue in Orlando. What about a statue of Cam Newton in Charlotte? We must build these statues so people don’t forget that the South is all about losing. Losing wars, losing teeth, losing games, losing their cousins to their other cousins. 

Pelosi actually had a Robert E Lee statue removed and put in the basement of the capitol a while back, but that isn’t stopping the “your dad did a bad thing, so our bad things are okay to continue to do” argument. 

If I read one more “Why are Yankees afraid of history blog” I’m going to punch a waterfall. Yankees aren’t afraid of history. History is fine. If we are going to build statues to remember history then let’s start with one of William Tecumseh Sherman, a statue so big it reminds the KKK members what happens when they mess with people who don’t wear bib overalls all day. Then I want to really remember the history of the South by erecting monuments where lynchings took place. Big monuments with names of everyone involved. Maybe even a picture of the smiling white faces that attended. That’s the history we should be restoring and talking about. (If you are interested: The losers of wars don’t get to create the history. Take your stupid second place trophy and your stupid flag and go and sit in a corner. 

The rest of us will have a celebration souvlaki.

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