President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad Dumpster-fire and Fury Von Trumplestillskin watched the eclipse from the balcony of the dump on Pennsylvania Avenue. He did have protective glasses, but in an act that can only be described as his presidency in a nutshell, he took a moment to look directly into the sun without any protection. “They told me not to, but I’m Donnie Johnny Trumpy. I DO WHAT I WANT!”
Later in the day he delivered his new Afghanistan plan. “We are going to win.” That’s the new plan. Was the old plan to lose? I have two possible strategies that will bring Afghanistan to their knees:
1. SuperWallMart in every city. (It’ll take ten years to destroy their way of life, but no one will be killed.”)
2. We drop President Trump-roast on the country. I mean, in six months look what he’s done to our government.
Paul “Ayn Rand is my BFF” Ryan had a town hall meeting last night where he said that Trumplestillskin “messed up” when he said there were good Nazis at the Charlottesville protests. Ryan won’t censure Trumplestillskin because, you know, we all make mistakes. Like the time we all said, “Nazis are just misunderstood.”
Part-time conspiracy theorist and full-time nut job, Brian Zollinger (R Idaho) said that it is possible that Obama was behind the Charlottesville violence. I’m amazed Zollinger is still alive. I don’t mean that Obama is out to kill him with his secret army, but I can’t believe someone with Zollinger’s intelligence is able to know which end of the spoon to put in his mouth when eating his morning cereal. He probably has someone feed him, because there is no other rational explanation for how a man-baby reaches full maturity with a brain that small.
Zollinger might want to begin eating souvlaki. It doesn’t matter which end you start with, because both sides are delicious.
Why is my page titled South of the Strait? Well I live in a far corner of the United States. I live in a small town south of the Strait of Juan de Fuca. If I was going to throw a rock across the strait it would land in Canada. I used to be an English teacher. I have worked in Westport, Port Angeles, and Sequim, Washington... and I did two years of substitute teaching in Coalinga, California.
I've moved around a lot, living in: Sterling,Kansas; Chicago; Jordan, Montana; Lemoore, California; Auckland, New Zealand; Spokane, Washington; Gambier, Ohio.
What do I write? For WordPress I used to print once a week for general comments. I wrote reviews of music concerts my daughter made me attend. (Each month she would want us to drive to Seattle to see a music group. I usually stood in the back watching weird stuff.) I also wrote about trips I have taken in Europe where I liked getting lost. I also wrote during the few months when my son was treated for cancer. (He is officially free of cancer of five years.) About three years ago I decided to stop writing blogs so I could concentrate on writing a few books. I have completed three books...or maybe four. I have now compiled my short stories poems and memoirs on Amazon. You can get it at Amazon now..."A Work In Progress"--Jon Eekhoff. I have been very close to getting a printed book called "Lost Summer" but I was never offered $1,000,000.00. (It's set in Paris, 1920's, with baseball, writers, artist, and actually true stuff.) I wrote a book about college basketball called "Laidlaw." It's kind of a mix of "Moby Dick" and a coach who is about to get fired so he takes his team out for a free drive around the West. My most recent book is "California Tales." These are connected stories about the missionary churches in California. They are sad, funny, inspiring, and odd. I had the entire book done in my head and had just one section to finish the next day...and that is when I fell 20 feet from my roof and landed on the cement. (Like a lot of men, I thought I could maintain my own roof instead of leaving it to the professionals.) I don't remember anything about my accident but I am told I was flown to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. Though conscious and responsive after surgery to remove part of my skull, I don't remember anything from my first month there. I spent another month of Harborview working on walking, speaking, and writing. That was two years ago. As a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) survivor, I could have quit writing, but I am not going to quit. I work with the University of Washington Speech and Hearing Clinic.
So, here I am. I am married and live here in Sequim with my wife Cheryl. Our kids live in nearby cities. Writing is now an exhausting exercise, but something I plan to keep working on.
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