Day 212

Mr. Steven “Cirrhosis Face” Bannon has been traded for three white nationalists to be named later and a two-hundred-pound bag of mixed animal lard that’s been sitting in a backyard in Athens, Georgia for three months. Let’s look back on the good times we had with Mr. “Gastrointestinal Bleeding” Bannon. Let me see…what were the good old times with Stevie? Oh, the time he got fired. That was the best part. 

Now we need to get rid of Stephen Miller and Seb Gorka. Bannon took his old job back at Breitbart News and will be spewing hate until he enters the Betty Ford Clinic…or he takes a ride on a donkey to Damascus. 

Carl Icahn has resigned from his advisory position in the White House. I don’t know anything about this guy other than Trump always said he was the best and smartest guy. Quitting proves he still has at least three firing brain cells. 

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Salad with Anchovies Trumpster-fire and Fury Von Trumplestillskin has announced that he and the first lady will not be attending the Kennedy Center Awards. He doesn’t want it to be a place where people feel the need to distance themselves from his Vesuvius like administration. Instead of attending the Kennedy Center Awards he will be going to the Duck Dynasty Awards. The DDA will be recognizing people who have done their part to continue the southern way of life. David Duke, General Robert E. Lee, the guys from Deliverance, Lynyrd Skynyrd, George Wallace, and Frederick Douglass (if he can make it) will be given Confederate flag shirts and second place trophies. 

The entire Trumplestillskin Art’s council quit too. So, you can forget about getting classy art stuff like Trump has. No gilded rooms filled with uncomfortable chairs and mirrors for the everyman…too bad…I was hoping to be turning my house into coal burning, golden palace. I would invite everyone over and serve souvlaki on golden plates.

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