Day 196

Another day, another fifteen lies to unpack from the White House. President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut Von Trumpenstein is unable to say five things without one of them being a lie. When he is caught, he sends out one of his soulless minions to lie for him. Sarah “Supercuts is Good Enough for Me” Huckabee Sanders had to explain how Trump didn’t get a call from the Boy Scouts of America saying, “best speech since Henry V” and then had to explain how Mexico’s President didn’t tell Trump he was really happy with the wall and immigration. Instead of saying, “You know, President Orangutan exaggerates sometimes. It’s part of his colorful personality. It matches his skin color,” Sanders is forced to contort herself like Yogi Coudoux. (Blast from the past. Only a child from the 80s will catch that one. Youtube: Yogi Coudoux That’s Incredible.) 

It might be fun, or funny to continue to catch Donald Trumpskin in his lies, but if he is willing to lie about something as stupid as getting a phone call from the Boy Scouts can we trust him to tell the truth about anything? (The answer is NO.)

Speaking of lies, the Washington Post released a transcript of phone calls Trump made back in Feb. to the PM of Australia and the President of Mexico. If you read the whole thing, you’ll understand that Trump has been off his rocker for the entire presidency. A few of his statements are so looney that they defy explanation. “I’m the world’s greatest person that does not want to let people into the country.” “I hate these people…They are not going to be wonderful people who go on to work for the local milk people.” If you had a five-year old say this stuff, you’d get him tested.

Stephen “Skynet Robot By Day, Guy You Catch Looking in Your Window By Night” Miller had a press conference to release the most recent Trump attempt to pander to the White Supremacist wing of the party. Miller and Jim Acosta got into a verbal kerfuffle that was more annoying than any episode of Real Housewives. Miller, who should remind everyone of that kid who didn’t get punched enough in high school, and Acosta went around in circles about the Statue of Liberty. (What Miller was saying was filled with Alt Right dog whistles.) Acosta should have tossed down his press credentials and walked up to the podium and knocked the smirk off of Miller’s rubber-skinned face. The most annoying part of the exchange was the number of times Miller said, “Actually” and “Jim.” Somebody on YouTube needs to put up a counter on one of the videos. 

While you’re at YouTube, make sure to stop in on the Souvlaki Hut’s ad, at least you can still trust good advertising.

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