Yikes, I just finished my post and 98.7% got erased. So here is a revised and shortened version. Agent Orange Julius Caesar Lord Dampnut* Von Trumpenstein and Vlad “The Election Impaler” Putin are fighting. BFF fights are the worst. Lord Dampnut is going to have to return the signed 8×10 signed, glossy photo of a shirtless Vlad riding a unicorn. Vlad is going to return a well-used VHS tape and the keys to the Wikipedia office.
755 American diplomats are going to be sent back to the US where Lord Dampnut has arranged for them to get jobs in a coal mine, or at a Carrier plant in Indiana. (Carrier has used their $16 million tax break from Indiana to automate the plant. So those jobs won’t go to Mexico, they’ll go to Skynet.)
Oh, and Russia said they are going to use their rich toolbox of measures to retaliate against the US. This rich toolbox is a flathead screwdriver and two IKEA Allen wrenches…or financial information connecting THE KUSH and Lord Dampnut to Russian oligarchs.
China told the orangutan from the golden tower that they couldn’t do anything with North Korea on their own. Lord Dampnut asked them to cut off the supply of Mandarin Orange Chicken from Panda Express to Un. China said, “What’s Panda Express?” Agent Orange said, “It’s a traditional Chinese restaurant. I love the Chinese! They make the best railroads and chop sticks.”
Lord Dampnut spent his weekend on the links. That makes 43 out of 193 days on the job that he has been golfing. Remember when he said he was going to work, work, work…there would be no time for golf? Yep, apparently that was a lie. That’s okay, the red states still love that he is Making America Golf Again. It was so disrespectful when Obama golfed. (I’m trying to put my finger on how these two presidents are different…what could it be?) If we really want to Make America Great Again we need to add BEMS to the acronym. Make American Great Again By Eating More Souvlaki.
Why is my page titled South of the Strait? Well I live in a far corner of the United States. I live in a small town south of the Strait of Juan de Fuca. If I was going to throw a rock across the strait it would land in Canada. I used to be an English teacher. I have worked in Westport, Port Angeles, and Sequim, Washington... and I did two years of substitute teaching in Coalinga, California.
I've moved around a lot, living in: Sterling,Kansas; Chicago; Jordan, Montana; Lemoore, California; Auckland, New Zealand; Spokane, Washington; Gambier, Ohio.
What do I write? For WordPress I used to print once a week for general comments. I wrote reviews of music concerts my daughter made me attend. (Each month she would want us to drive to Seattle to see a music group. I usually stood in the back watching weird stuff.) I also wrote about trips I have taken in Europe where I liked getting lost. I also wrote during the few months when my son was treated for cancer. (He is officially free of cancer of five years.) About three years ago I decided to stop writing blogs so I could concentrate on writing a few books. I have completed three books...or maybe four. I have now compiled my short stories poems and memoirs on Amazon. You can get it at Amazon now..."A Work In Progress"--Jon Eekhoff. I have been very close to getting a printed book called "Lost Summer" but I was never offered $1,000,000.00. (It's set in Paris, 1920's, with baseball, writers, artist, and actually true stuff.) I wrote a book about college basketball called "Laidlaw." It's kind of a mix of "Moby Dick" and a coach who is about to get fired so he takes his team out for a free drive around the West. My most recent book is "California Tales." These are connected stories about the missionary churches in California. They are sad, funny, inspiring, and odd. I had the entire book done in my head and had just one section to finish the next day...and that is when I fell 20 feet from my roof and landed on the cement. (Like a lot of men, I thought I could maintain my own roof instead of leaving it to the professionals.) I don't remember anything about my accident but I am told I was flown to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. Though conscious and responsive after surgery to remove part of my skull, I don't remember anything from my first month there. I spent another month of Harborview working on walking, speaking, and writing. That was two years ago. As a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) survivor, I could have quit writing, but I am not going to quit. I work with the University of Washington Speech and Hearing Clinic.
So, here I am. I am married and live here in Sequim with my wife Cheryl. Our kids live in nearby cities. Writing is now an exhausting exercise, but something I plan to keep working on.
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