Day 190

Yesterday can only be described as a train wreck, on a sinking boat in an ocean of filth, on a planet being struck by a giant meteor, in a galaxy being sucked into a black hole. 

The republicans had seven years to plan a replacement for Obamacare. What did they come up with? A junior high science project…”What? It’s due tomorrow? How fast does mold grow?” At around 2AM, John McCain wandered out of his hyperbaric chamber and voted with two other sane (in other words, female) members of the republican party to kill the “skinny repeal.” Mitch “Turtleneck isn’t a Preexisting Condition” McConnell then made a speech I’ll term: An Ode To Irony. Here’s a summarized transcript, “We really, really, really wanted to work with everyone, but you guys didn’t break down the doors and help the thirteen of us draft some legislation to take away everyone’s healthcare. You guys didn’t try hard enough to help us kill people. You’re bad.” 

Ted “My Face is Wax–Take that Madam Tussaud” Cruz went right out and found the Faux Newz cameras and gave his own speech about how hard he tried to kill people and drink the blood of his enemies, but nobody helped. Ted’s sad face made me very happy. 

I’m sure President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Trumpenstein is angry. 

But I’ll bet he isn’t as angry as Reince Priebus and Steve Bannon. OMG, just when you think the crazy has reached 10, Anthony “Italian Stereotypes Might Have a Point” Scaramucci comes along and turns it up to 12. If you missed “The Mooch’s” interview in the New Yorker, you missed a new episode of The Sopranos. The Mooch said that…well, I can’t really repeat what he said. Don Lemon tried to read the quotes on the air last night and couldn’t because so many words were bleeped out. (Don was a broken man, he didn’t know what to say.) It was like trying to read a redacted letter. To summarize: Priebus is crazy and Steve “Jabba The Hut” Bannon spends his days practicing a strange form of yoga. 

I’d bet a thousand dollars that Trump told the Mooch to say these things. I don’t feel bad for any of them. You can put a red MAGA cap on a bag of festering pus, but the red hat doesn’t cover up the fact that all of these people in the Trump administration are rudderless, egocentric, monomaniacal, bags of festering pus. 

Oh, and Sam Brownback has been named Protector of Religious Freedom or some stupid title like that. This moron was too stupid to run Kansas and now he is going to keep our religious freedoms safe…I’ll bet I can say Merry Christmas again. I hope his first act is to protect Muslims who have been shut out of the country by Trump’s travel ban. Or are the religious freedom protections restricted to one religion? 

Well, as long as I don’t have any restrictions on access to souvlaki, I’ll be okay.

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