Day 189

President Agent Orange Julius Caesar Trumpenstein took to twitter yesterday to announce that he was kicking all transgender people out of the military because they were too expensive. (More military money is spent on Viagra than on transgender healthcare. I don’t even want to know why that much is spent on Viagra; I’m just passing on information.) Trump’s little orange fingers must have been AWOL from his brain because everyone was caught off guard by his proclamation. Everyone…even the Joint Chiefs of Staff…the guys running the military did not know the Presidential Orangutan was going to make this change. Like all Orangutans, they gave him a banana and turned-on Faux News to draw his attention away from doing actual damage to the country. For the time being, it sounds like the proclamation will be put next in a file called “Trump Promises…burn in 2020.” 

The Senate voted on a straight repeal of ObamaCare yesterday…and the GOP lost. After seven years of trying to repeal ObamaCare, they couldn’t pull the trigger to kill 22 million people’s healthcare. They will be voting on a skinny repeal soon. The skinny repeal will starve the insurance markets driving up prices and eventually killing ObamaCare. The thinking is that if they starve it, then their voters will think it was still Obama’s fault. I hate to say it, but they are probably right. If it takes more than one step in thinking, then it is hard for a Faux News watcher to keep track of what is going on…unless it is Benghazi, or the mysterious murders committed by Hillary Clinton. 

Trump keeps abusing Jeffro Bowdeen Sessions. He has become Trump’s tiny piñata that is being batted around the Oval Office. I’d feel bad for the tiny racist gnome if it weren’t for the things he has done, believes, and wants to do. It is a little like watching a movie so bad you can’t look away. (The Shallows is a movie that comes to mind.) Lindsay “My Momma Didn’t Raise No Fool” Graham has said that if Sessions is fired “holy hell” will break loose. Um…I don’t believe that at all. Remember Lindsay was the guy who Trump destroyed in the primary by releasing his phone number to the public. Yeah, and what did Lindsay do? He filmed an ad of him smashing his phone. The GOP can’t stand up to Trump now. Not after he has carpet bombed the party. Ted “That Guy is a Lying Snake” Cruz called Trump every name in the book before endorsing him. I could go on, and on, and on, but instead think back to Jason “I Can’t Look My Wife and Daughter in the Eye” Chaffetz, Mitt “Meet Me For Dinner” Romney, Jeb “Low Energy” Bush, Little Marco Rubio…yep, you spineless wimps aren’t going to say squat to Trump if he fires Sessions. Trump has deep fried, scorched, and BBQed the GOP.

Speaking of grilled meats, I could go for a souvlaki.

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