A Year Of tRUMP

Day 182

That tiny bump you felt on the Trump bus wasn’t a little pebble in the road it was Jeffro “tiny racist hands make the best crackers” Bowdeen Sessions. The racist Elfin King of the Department of Justice got tossed under the bus yesterday in a NYTimes interview with President Agent Orange Trump. If you have time, read the transcript of the interview…it is awesome…that is, if you like watching YouTube videos of car crashes and people falling out of trees. 

The interview starts with a question about lunch. Trump’s answer rambles for three incoherent paragraphs about Hillary and Obama’s failures with healthcare. Then they move on to Trump’s trip to Paris. Trump says that even his enemies in the press said he delivered the best speech ever given by a president on foreign soil…when he was in Poland. Poland and Paris aren’t the same place, but they do both start with P, and pee is something Trump must connect to Europe. (Insert your own P/pee joke here.) Trump then says how much Macron likes to hold Trump’s hand. Which is kind of funny. Trump describes the Bastille Day parade as “super-duper” and he really liked all the planes “more than the super bowl.” The interview then moves to Comey, Russia, and Sessions. Sessions really gets taken to the Trump woodshed because Trump believes Sessions should not have taken the job if he was just going to recuse himself. (Sessions was the senator who first supported Trump. Bannon came to Sessions and said, “Hey, you know how we hate everyone who isn’t white? Well, get behind Trump and we can push all those brown people out of the voting booth and country.” I’m paraphrasing, but this is actually how Bannon got Sessions on board…I’m not making that up.) Well, Trump tosses Sessions under the bus, then Rothenstein (because he’s from Baltimore), and then Comey and Mueller. It’s a really interesting interview if you can get past the fact that this pus-filled bladder of anger is our president. 

In other news, Trump ended the CIA funding of Syrian rebels…I guess Putin’s hour long, undocumented discussion with The Orange Man Who Knew Too Little paid off. 

Senator John McCain is having some serious health problems and things don’t look good. He will get the best care in the US and have a great chance to continue living a productive life. He won’t have to face bankruptcy, he won’t have to start a GoFundMe account, he won’t even have to pay anything out of pocket, but when he returns to his work, he will have a preexisting condition and then he will get to vote on whether Obamacare should be revoked…32 million people would lose healthcare according to the CBO. I hope the part of his brain that still works is the part that processes emotions and has empathy…I think most of his colleagues had that part removed years ago. 

I’m sure McCain has some regrets in his political life and if he were to give advice it would be to eat more souvlaki.

Categories: A Year Of tRUMP

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