Day 181

Trump’s Russian complications keep having complications. It’s like those hidden Russian dolls, each time we open one there’s another one revealed. We found out yesterday that Don-Fredo Jr’s meeting had an eighth member there. Note the changes…first, about adoption with one lawyer…now, eight people crowded into a gilded room smelling like a mixture of Axe body spray and borsch. (I believe the next person to be revealed at the meeting will be Little Finger. Not the Orange Little Finger, but the guy from Game of Thrones.)

The other meeting everyone is talking about is Agent Orange Trump’s off the record meeting with Putin. The meeting lasted an hour and Trump used the Russian translator instead of one from the US because Trump is used to outsourcing jobs. I created a transcript for those of you who missed it: 

DJT: Hey, Vlad. I hear Russian women keep themselves in very good shape.

VP: That’s right. Aren’t you married?

DJT: I am, but you never know when I might need to trade in my Slovenian model for a newer Russian one. 

VP: Don’t women find you disgusting?

DJT: Sure, bigly. 

VP: Well, I think we could find a new one for you if you gave us back our US compounds, stopped the sanctions, looked the other way while we took over Ukraine, Poland, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. 

DJT: That sounds great. 

VP: Really?

DJT: That’s why they call me the deal maker. 

The rest of the meeting (57 minutes) was a handshake that neither man was willing to end. 

In other diplomatic activity, Trump told PM May that he would come to England when the press was nicer to him. Yep, he’ll never visit. The English press will be like the Royal Air Force during WWII and prevent a Tumpian invasion by calling him Donnie Small Fingers and The Talking Meat Pie. 

In other press news, Charles “I look like Jabba the Hut” Krauthammer called the failure of the senate wealthcare an epic failure. I’d rather have the bill fail than have 22 million people without health insurance, but that’s just me. I was raised to believe that corporations aren’t actually people and can do without their bonuses. People who argue that we can’t afford single payer in our country need to look at how much insurance companies have made in the past 8 years. Trump’s “let Obamacare fail” because it won’t be his fault is an interesting leadership track. Obamacare to single payer is a few easy steps. 

The voter purges are coming according to Twitter. I may be blowing things out of proportion, but this is the type of action that leads to dictatorships. If that’s what you want, then look who is next in line to the throne…Don Fredo. That should scare all of you, no matter which side of the political spectrum you’re on. (The two sides: good and evil.) 

Something that could bring us together is a delicious souvlaki.

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