The Irresponsible Adult Trip

Damn…Amsterdam, 19 Random Amsterdamian Things

  1. I ate a pancake in the smallest restaurant in Europe. (Just like the Beastie Boys.)
  2. A pigeon hit me in the head as I walked through Dam square. This was odd for a couple reasons: The Dutch are as tall as me therefore the bird should have had plenty of practice around guys my size, I was standing still so it wasn’t even close to my fault. The only explanation is that the bird was stoned like the rest of the kids under 30 at Dam Square. 
  3. If you legalize pot in your state (Washington, where I live is one of the US states where you can buy left-handed cigarettes) Amsterdam’s casual drug use isn’t shocking at all. Now the prostitution…that’s another deal. 
  4. You can rent a booth in the red light district and go into business…I think. There were lots of “Rent me” signs in empty booths in the red light district. This surprises me because I thought the sex workers had lots of regulations to follow. So, if you are looking for a way to make a little extra spending money on your vacation…

    This lady wouldn’t move so I could get a better picture. She probably waited in line.

  5. The Van Gogh museum has online tickets…do not stand in line like an idiot. 
  6. The Rijksmuseum has tickets online, but there wasn’t any line at all. 
  7. The Anne Frank museum is not over-rated. You must go, but get your tickets about 60 days in advance or you’ll be waiting in line with the rest of the rubes. I think the website opens each months reservations on the first day of the month. For example, I bought my tickets for July 7th on May 1st. 
  8. Those auto-massage chairs in the airport are worth the 2 Euros. 
  9. Running up an escalator to pass time in an airport at my advanced age was funny for the first 30 seconds, but when I went crashing to the ground the two old ladies who were watching me were pretty scared. They said, “Are you okay?” How did they know to speak to me in English? Hmmm…probably because any European would know better than to do something that stupid. 
  10. No matter where I go I end up sitting in front of someone who is messing with my chair. They guy on our flight from Amsterdam to Munich grabbed my seatback three times to pull himself up to standing. The flight took an hour, nobody needs to get up that many times. It was like he was trying to launch me over a castle wall. 

    I got bacon and cheese, which was good, but my wife was smarter.

  11. Get the strawberries and cream pancake. 
  12. Eat a strupwaffle. Actually eat five of them. 
  13. Dutch is the funniest of languages. 
  14. Amsterdam needs better man-hole covers. 
  15. The liquids on planes thing is more strict in Europe, but you can take your pet rock with you.
  16. Canal tours with The Damn Boat Guys is really great, and not just because I got some free beer. 

    You migh pay 2 million Euros to live here and your neighbor might be on state assistance.

  17. The Dutch mix their housing. Wealthy people live alongside people who have subsidized housing. “Isn’t that how it should be?” our boat guide asked. Yep, that is how it should be. 
  18. If you find yourself in a Turkish restaurant where no one speaks your language, do not try the yogurt drink. Sometimes trying new things has a cost. 
  19. Old paintings and statues of musicians often portray them as drunks…things haven’t changed too much in 500 years. 

12 replies »

  1. Oh you’re killing me now. I guess this is tit for tat since I sent posts like this when I was in Amsterdam and god, there’s no better place for people-watching and documenting. Several of these scenes made me wonder if they were the same I saw when I was last there. Go on with your bad self, do it all. Just maybe not the red part. I like how they tap on the glass when you walk by to get your attention, that’s good.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey there, thanks for sharing !
    FOR ANYONE interested in learning or improving FRENCH in Amsterdam !

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