Q: Did you die?

A: No, I was not killed in a hail of Nerf bullets in the middle of a gun show…although I did want to attend a local gun show with my Nerf gun, but I could not convince my photographer to attend with me, so instead of getting shot by a Second Amendment thug, I hung up my Nerf gun and shirt and moved on with my life.

Q: Why didn’t you go by yourself?

A: When you blog nothing is worth doing unless you can take a picture of it.

Where are the most rules about guns? A gun show.

Q: Why aren’t you blogging?

A: I have taken a sabbatical from blogging; I haven’t even been reading blogs (I know that isn’t allowed, but I did it anyway because I am a radical). Instead I have written a second unpublished novel (like Kafka, but without the ideas or talent) and doing a good deal of reading to fill the hours between my nightmares of a dystopian future and my waking hours filled with a dystopian present.

Q: Does that mean you are returning to blogging?

A: For a bit and then I will probably start a kickstarter campaign to help fund my global rule.

Q: Did you learn anything while you were away?

A: Yes. Never ask an interview question that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

Q: What is something you are certain your readers will want to know about your sabbatical?

A: I am growing a ridiculous beard and I look like a cross between Rasputin and Ted Kazinsky. I will be stopped and frisked the next time I have to pass through a TSA checkpoint.

Blending into the brick wall…might be time to get my liver checked.

Q: When can we expect to see some new material from you?

A: Right now. I’m gonna finish this stupid thing and then write a little bit. Okay? Are you happy now?