Q: Did you die?
A: No, I was not killed in a hail of Nerf bullets in the middle of a gun show…although I did want to attend a local gun show with my Nerf gun, but I could not convince my photographer to attend with me, so instead of getting shot by a Second Amendment thug, I hung up my Nerf gun and shirt and moved on with my life.
Q: Why didn’t you go by yourself?
A: When you blog nothing is worth doing unless you can take a picture of it.
Q: Why aren’t you blogging?
A: I have taken a sabbatical from blogging; I haven’t even been reading blogs (I know that isn’t allowed, but I did it anyway because I am a radical). Instead I have written a second unpublished novel (like Kafka, but without the ideas or talent) and doing a good deal of reading to fill the hours between my nightmares of a dystopian future and my waking hours filled with a dystopian present.
Q: Does that mean you are returning to blogging?
A: For a bit and then I will probably start a kickstarter campaign to help fund my global rule.
Q: Did you learn anything while you were away?
A: Yes. Never ask an interview question that can be answered with a simple yes or no.
Q: What is something you are certain your readers will want to know about your sabbatical?
A: I am growing a ridiculous beard and I look like a cross between Rasputin and Ted Kazinsky. I will be stopped and frisked the next time I have to pass through a TSA checkpoint.
Q: When can we expect to see some new material from you?
A: Right now. I’m gonna finish this stupid thing and then write a little bit. Okay? Are you happy now?
South of the Strait 
Yes.
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About time. I need a good laugh. They are hard to come by these days in my neck of the woods (or rather tropical rain forest). So get back on the job (please!). By the way, you actually did not answer your own question. You just explained why you have been awol.
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Some questions are better not answered.
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I was writing a novel, or a novel and 1/2 to be more exact.
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Now I just have to remember how to do this.
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Well that’s six months of planning the memorial service down the drain. Thanks a lot.
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I’m sure your efforts will not be in vain. Hold on to those notes.
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Q: Why don’t you publish your novels?
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This is a good question. I keep thinking that by holding on to them they will age like wine and get better. So far the jury is out on that line of thinking.
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Also, I am very happy you’re back! I was worried you were maimed in some open carry incident.
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If looks could kill, I might have sustained an injury or two, but luckily I came through without incident.
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